Conflicted

Title: Conflicted
Author: rivermoon1970
Artist: Lily Essence, titled Collared
Fandom: James Bond (Craig Movies), Criminal Minds, Kingsmen
Characters: James Bond, Q, Merlin, Moneypenny, Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, various minor characters
Pairings: James Bond/Q, Merlin/Eggsy Unwin, Past Harry Hart/Merlin & Q, Aaron Hotchner/Derek Morgan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Conflict, BDSM, Slash
Rating: Explicit
Series: To Collar a Q, Bound Love, and a follow up to Submission of Aaron Hotchner
Beta: DarkJediQueen
Word Count: 11, 147
Warnings: Impact Play, Power Play, Grief, Punishment

collared-by-lilly-ebanner by Lily Essence


Part 1
Quinn was waking up in James’s bed yet again. He had asked James the previous evening to tell him more about his consort, but James, like always, was evasive. He said he was protecting the man, didn’t want their jobs and the world they lived in to come crashing in on him. Q didn’t know why it bothered him so much. The Dragon House Consorts were the most protected out of all the known houses, everyone knew that. Q sat up and touched his own marks and pondered yet again Bond’s question of a collar. He touched his neck, the play collar still attached, and knew Bond would remove it soon. It was a huge decision and Q was still so very conflicted about his feelings. It meant commitment and the fact that James wanted to make that commitment really did make him happy. But, he was trying to decide if he was ready for that commitment. Though James had survived this long being a 00, the cards were stacked against him and Q knew, deep down, that if something happened to James in the field, he would no longer be able to do his job effectively. He had gone and fallen for the man.

Sighing to himself he curled up, legs pulled against his chest and arms wrapped around his legs, he had a lot to think about, a lot to consider. What he didn’t expect was James to come into the room with a leash in his hand. His eyes widened, and his mouth went dry because he really was not sure what James had in mind. The 00 walked over, bent down close to Q, and attached the leash to the collar, he didn’t say a word as he stepped back and pulled on it.

“James?” Q asked. Trepidation made his stomach flip and the smile on James’s face didn’t help at all.

“Come on, be a good little Boffin.” James tugged again and Q stood, shaking a little. The Dom had, as of late, started to push at Q’s limits. Sometimes edging into a power imbalance and Q found it both exciting and horrifying. He submitted to James, enjoyed submitting to him, but he knew this was different. They walked through James’s flat and Q noticed the man was dressed in soft looking but expensive trousers and a cashmere jumper. Casual sophistication rather than one of his infamous bespoke suits. Q, on the other hand, was still completely naked. They walked over to James’s couch where breakfast was laid out, full English at that, and a teapot that Q could smell the fragrant Earl Grey that was his favorite. A kneeling pillow was on the floor next to the couch, which had Q raising his brow.

“You know what I want Quinn. I know that mind of yours has worked it out, so let’s not play the game.” James’s voice was even and held that commanding presence that made many a men quake. Q swallowed hard then kneeled on the pillow. “Good. Hands behind your back.” Q looked up in James’s face, which was impassive, but had a touch of stern to it. Q did as he was told, trusting James not to push too far, or break the trust that had built up between them over the months they had started this relationship. His heart beat hard in his chest as James stood behind him, fingers ghosting along his neck, then carding in his dark, unruly hair, pulling him back against James’s body. He was held there a moment, and he tried to stay perfectly still. When James didn’t push further, he let the tension in his back and shoulders go, then his hair was being released. Q had the distinct impression that James was waiting for him, waiting for the submission.

Q felt the cold steel of handcuffs being wrapped around his wrists, he tried to settle more into his submission, waiting for whatever it was that the Dom had in mind. James moved back around and settled on the couch, but not before attaching the handle of the leash on a hidden hook on the table. Basically Q could only move one way and that was forward.

“I’m going to feed you now, Q and if you are very good I have a reward for you, if not, well, we will discuss what happens then.”

Q’s breathing increased as he closed his eyes a moment and took a deep cleansing breath. He sunk into that part of him that had the need to submit, the part that trusted his Dom to not take away his power, but pushed at it and challenged it. When he opened them back up he knew he could safeword at anytime and the play would end. He was secure in that knowledge.

“Yes, Sir,” Q said breathlessly and was rewarded with that little smirk that was so very James Bond.

“Good.” James said no more as he cut into the English bacon and fed a piece to Q, then took a piece for himself. Next it was a bite of the beans on a small piece of toast, a bit of the perfectly cooked eggs, and so on. This went on for a while, Q being given a bite of food, then James taking his own bite. Sips of tea in-between after Bond poured some into two cups, one for Quinn, one for himself. Q didn’t know when it happened, but he figured out that at some point during the breakfast he had submitted completely and fully to James.

When both plates were empty and James poured more tea Q wondered what was going to happen next. He wasn’t as overly full as he assumed he was going to get, James had kept the meal small, but he was satisfied. He looked over at the Dom and tried not to wonder what the man had in mind. His eyes followed the Dom as he stood, his graceful movements set shivers of lust through Q and he couldn’t help how hard he started to get. But if there was one thing he had learned about James, Q’s orgasms belonged to the 00.

“You did very well Q.” James kept his eyes on Q’s as he unzipped his trousers and pulled his half-hard cock out. “Now, you get a reward.” Bond again carded his fingers in Q’s hair and pulled him closer. Q knew what James wanted as he took the cock in front of him in his mouth.

“Remember, don’t cum.” James looked down at him as he worked the cock in his mouth. James gripped his hair even harder to hold him still then his mouth was being fucked. Q moaned as he quivered with need while James used him. He was slipping even more into the part of himself that let go of everything, he started to float and knew he was on the edge of subspace. He wanted to touch, but he couldn’t and it was driving him a bit crazy. He knew now why James cuffed him. His need to touch was hindered and gave James more power. Q thought that he should be worried about the game James was playing, but he wasn’t, at least for now.

Q was lost in the physical sensations, letting his mind empty, and his body fully relax. He was ready when he felt James’s release, then the soft cock was being pulled from his mouth. Gentle hands on his face had him looking up with clouded eyes.

“You are perfect Quinn,” James swallowed down whatever else he was going to say, then unhooked the leash and handcuffs helping Q to stand, James led him to the bedroom.

“Sir, please…” Q bit at his lip which James smiled softly as he pulled down on his lip.

“Not yet. I have plans for you today.” Q quivered once more wondering just what he meant.


Part 2

Q had been kept off balance all weekend as James pushed at his limits more and more. There were things he allowed that even just six months prior he would have said no to. He wasn’t sure what the Dom ultimately wanted, other than accepting his collar. Q was standing in Q-Branch, lost in thought with R chattering next to him. 007 didn’t have a mission, so he was currently parked in Q’s office taking care of his overdue reports. M had been on him pretty hard lately to get his mission reports done properly after said mission ended. James was rebelling by turning in partial reports then finishing on his own time. Q stayed out of it. It was something M and 007 were going to have to deal with themselves.

“Q!” R barked sternly at her boss. Q frowned and turned to look at his second-in-command.

“You don’t have to yell R. Now, what is it you are going on about?” Q took a deep breath to settle himself back into working mode.

“I only yelled because you were off somewhere not paying any attention. Now, 006 in Afghanistan and 004 in Argentina need that intel you dug up, sent to them. Luckily they are both safe, but I can’t say the same about 003.” R turned around in a huff and went back to her own station to try to extract her agent from the mess she had found herself in. “Oh and Eve wanted to talk to you.”

Q sighed again then got down to the business of the day, which included two agents coming back from the field with their tech in various states of disarray. Which was better than he could have asked for. After getting his field agents taken care of he gathered up all the tech and went off to his lab, leaving R in charge, telling her to only get him if something important happened. He needed the quiet of the lab. He would deal with Moneypenny later, he just hoped she had the information that he was requesting for her to dig up. He just hoped that James would forgive him later.

Lost in the work Q didn’t notice 007 there at first, but when he finally looked up he had to keep check of his emotions, it wouldn’t be appropriate at work. The infernal man was leaning in the doorway, not a wrinkle on his dark bespoke suit, and a slim box in his hand. Q wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was in it, yet at the same time his curiosity was peaked.

“Should I be worried?” Q asked as his eyes traveled to the box.

“You’ll have to open it to find out.” James lifted his mouth in a half smile.

“Such a bastard,” Q let out under his breath as he turned back to what he was doing.

“I heard that.” James sauntered over to Q’s workbench and slid his hand in the boffin’s hair. James roughly pulled on Q’s hair till the younger man was looking up at him. The kiss was hard and possessive. The Dom was making a bigger and bolder claim on Q by possibly outing them. Though Q was certain that almost everyone in Q-Branch knew of the affair. If any of the other 00’s walked in they would see them and know that they were having a relationship, then the gossip would really begin. When James pulled back he set the box in front of Q. “Open it, Q.”

Taking a deep breath he pulled the box to him and slowly opened it with slightly shaking hands.

“James,” Q exclaimed, shocked at the items he pulled out. It wasn’t a collar like he had feared. It was a set of cuffs. When Q looked at them he noticed the lock on one side, then looked over at James who was holding the key in his hand.

“If you won’t accept my collar, how about we try cuffs.” James dropped the key in his coat pocket as he picked up one of the cuffs. They were platinum micro links which made them flexible. They were only about an inch in width, but exquisitely made. On the top of the cuff was a one inch in diameter ring. The cuffs looked almost delicate, but knowing 007, Q knew there was probably more to them than he thought. When James wrapped one around Q’s wrist, the boffin thought it was going to be heavy, but it wasn’t. It was much lighter than he imagined them to be. When all he did was look James in the eye, the 00 clicked the lock on it and smiled. He did the same to the other wrist and Q looked up at him wondering what he was going to do.

“You need a sub bench under your desk.”

“And just what do you think I need that for?”

“So when I find you down here I can command you to kneel and suck my cock.” James looked smug as he kept his hands gripped around Q’s wrists. “You’re mine Q, no one else’s. You understand?”

Q swallowed hard as his knees wanted to buckle under him at the tone in Bond’s voice. He wondered for only a moment what was happening to him and why he was letting Bond have as much power over him as he was. Harry had never exerted his control, but then Harry and Merlin had both indulged him in whatever it was he wanted. His heart hitched at the thought of his former Dom. He knew part of his reluctance to accepting Bond’s collar was because of how much danger Bond always put himself in when on a mission. There was always that chance that he would lose him. Losing Harry had been hard enough, but losing James, that would devastate him.

“Yes,” he was breathless as Bond pulled him closer and fisted his hand in his hair. The kiss was hard and unyielding, but Q melted anyway. When the Dom finally broke away and ran a finger down his cheek, Q shivered at the possessiveness of it all.

“It’s late, you should go home and get some sleep.” Q had lost all track of time while he was in his lab. It took him a moment to decide just where he wanted to go, whether it was to his own flat, or to Bond’s. Worrying his lip as he looked down at his worktable and got the distinct impression that Bond was waiting for him to make that very decision.

“And just where is it you think I should be sleeping?” He knew his tone was challenging, but he felt he needed to get some kind of control back, maybe. He wasn’t sure anymore and Bond keeping him off balance wasn’t helping.

“My flat, of course.”

Q gazed down at the cuffs a moment before cleaning up his repair projects. Sighing, he looked up at Bond and knew he was going to go with him. There wasn’t much question as he stepped into Bond’s arms and was being led from MI6.

When they got to Bond’s flat he was told to strip, then to come back to the living room. Bond called in for Indian takeaway, then Q was stepping out of the bedroom naked.

“Do you know how gorgeous you are Quinn? Come here.” Biting his lip he walked over to Bond, who gripped his hips and pulled him into his lap. Sliding his hand in the boffin’s hair, Bond gripped tight as he took Q’s mouth in a searing kiss. “So many things I want to do to you, so much I want to show you.”

“James,” Q moaned against the man’s lips as he ground down against Bond.

“You are a wicked thing, aren’t you Quinn?”

They didn’t get farther as James’s doorbell rang signaling that the take out had arrived. James ordered Q to kneel on the kneeling pad, then the stood and grabbed his wallet so he could pay.

Finishing with the delivery person, tipping generously, Bond set the food out on his coffee table. He pulled out a small chain with clips on the end and clipped the cuffs together, immobilizing Q’s hands once again. Bond had bound him much like he had at breakfast and fed him as well. Q let himself relax and enjoy being taken care of. He tried to keep thoughts of Harry away, but there was so much to what Bond was doing that reminded him of the older man, that he was having a hard time with his emotions.

“So good for me, aren’t you Quinn?”

“Yes, Sir,” slipped out of his mouth as his body relaxed more when Bond carded his fingers through his hair.

“I think it’s bedtime for a certain Boffin.” Bond smiled down at him affectionately as he unhooked the leash, and his wrists then guided him to the bedroom. Q laid down on the bed as Bond reached up and brought a chain down, hooking it to the cuffs. Q took a moment to process how he felt, and how he felt was safe. He finally made that connection in his mind that with James Bond he felt not only cared for and indulged, but he felt safe. He hadn’t felt like this since Harry’s death and though that sense of safety made him happier than he had been in a long time, it also scared him. Safety meant trust, meant the beginnings of something more and he had the something more at one time and it was all ripped away from him. He tried to put his fears aside as he felt Bond at his back wrapping around him and nuzzling at his neck, giving him an even bigger feeling of safety. Q snuggled back into the body wrapped around him and finally let himself fall asleep.


Part 3

“Here, and don’t ask what I had to do to get this.” Moneypenny pressed a piece of paper in Q’s hand.

“Thank you, Eve. I appreciate it.”

“Q, what’s so important? Who is this?”

Q took a deep breath as the opened the piece of paper and looked down at the address. He knew he should have gone to see the man before now, but he was in a bit of a crisis and needed someone to tell him what to do.

“Someone who was important to me once. Thank you for this Eve.” Q didn’t want to discuss Harry or Merlin with anyone, it still hurt that his first Dom, the man that had saved him, was gone. Turning away from the woman, Q went back to his office and set the information aside and got to work with the business of the day.

He put Harry and Merlin out of his mind for most of the week. But the weight of the knowledge of where he was, how close Merlin was, was too much. The pressure that had built up over the week, of trying not to go find him had him aching and in pain. James had kept looking at him, questions in his eyes and he knew he was hurting his Dom. But, he couldn’t talk yet, not about them, not yet. Even after more than a year Q didn’t know how to deal with Harry’s death.

Q didn’t want to say that it wasn’t just not knowing who his Consort was, but it was the pain of losing Harry and in turn, Merlin as well. The fact that Harry had sought out a Dom for him, like he was someone to be traded had hurt him, but Merlin had explained that Harry loved him, and worried that he would retreat inside himself and ignore his dynamic, ignore who he is.

His uncertainty, pain and grief was what had brought him to the address he was now standing in front of. He knocked with a shaking hand and felt uncertain that he should be there. He knew Merlin had taken Harry’s death much worse than he himself had. They had been together for such a long time. The Switch had been Harry’s own Consort. Q thought that maybe being part of their lives, seeing how they were together, the love, their dynamic, everything showed him what two people could be when they were laid bare with each other. He knew, just from conversations with his Dom’s, that the path of the Consort wasn’t always an easy decision. It was difficult, because the Consort was laid bare to their master. Q could admit that a part of him was jealous. Someone else had been that for Bond, and it wasn’t him first.

Closing his eyes a moment, he got his emotions under control, then knocked. He had expected to see Merlin opening the door, and not the young man who was there.

“Eggsy, who is it?” Q heard Merlin as he was coming down the stairs, he could just make him out behind the young man in front of him.

“I’m sorry, but he can be a bit impatient sometimes. Can I help you?”

“I was looking for Merlin.”

“Quinn?” Merlin came to the door and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come…”

“No, no please Quinn come in.”

Q swallowed back the retort he had on the tip of his tongue, but he waited. Walking inside the house, the young man called Eggsy showed him into another room where Merlin made himself comfortable on a small couch. He wasn’t sure where to sit when Merlin took pity on him and smiled.

“Come here Quinn.”

“Sir.” Q smiled shyly as he made his way to sit next to his old Dom.

“Now, why are you here Quinn? Is something wrong between you and James?” Q looked over to see that Eggsy had made himself home in another chair and crossed his legs. He didn’t have a collar on, and when he swung his gaze back to Merlin, he saw a new collar resting on his neck.

“You…” Q closed his eyes and felt like a part of his life was coming apart. He hadn’t known what to expect, but for Merlin to have moved on wasn’t it. The older man smiled softly, as he reached out and touched Q’s cheek.

“You did not expect me to mourn forever, did you Quinn? Harry wouldn’t have wanted either of us to not move on. It’s why he did what he did before he died. Now, what is going on?”

“James has offered his collar.”

“And you haven’t accepted.”

Q let the tension in his shoulder go and he dropped back against the couch, pulling his legs up and folding them under him.

“No.”

“Does he not make you happy Quinn?”

“I…” Q looked down at the hands he had folded onto his lap and sighed. “I am happy, but I’m so confused, Sir.”

“Quinn, I am not your Sir anymore.”

“But I can’t call you Merlin. It isn’t right.”

That sad smile was back on his face as he studied Q for a moment.

“What is holding you back?”

“He has a Consort.”

“And?”

“He won’t tell me about it. He’s very…closed when it comes to the subject of his Consort and he won’t tell me why.”

“What house? Is he a Dragon Consort? A Lotus Consort? Siren? What?”

“He’s a Dragon.”

“Ahh, You should know, Quinn, that Dragon’s are very protective of their Consorts, especially if they have to let them go.”

“But Harry didn’t let you go.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Merlin looked towards Eggsy who just gave a small nod, then Quinn was being pulled into his arms. Quinn wrapped around Merlin and let his head fall on his shoulder. Only then did Merlin continue. “Harry and I fell in love, and he didn’t want to let me go. I accepted his collar at the end because we both wanted it. Even as a Siren, Quinn, Harry was always protective of me. But, Dragon House is in a league all it’s own. Not only is their training in hard Sado Masochism, but Dragon’s tend to very much live up to their names. If Harry chose James for you that means he let his Consort go and didn’t offer a collar.”

“James said he was a Dom that learned the path of submission. He didn’t offer a collar because it would have eventually broken the man.”

Merlin and Eggsy turned towards each other and shared a look. Merlin took a while before he answered. He measured his words carefully because he knew just how stubborn Q could be when he was confronted with a puzzle or a problem. And, it seemed, that James had become a puzzle for Q to work out.

“Quinn, I think you need to leave it alone. Consorts are very special to their Masters and the more you dig, the more you obsess about this, the more that there could be cause for mistrust to come between you and James. I urge you, love, to let this go.”

“Like you let me go?” Q’s face hardened as he abruptly sat up and frowned at Merlin.

“Quinn, I couldn’t keep you. I’m not a strong enough Dom to give you what you need. Harry, he knew you the instant that we found you, lost and broken. He loved you fiercely Quinn, and I, too love you, but we would have ended up hating each other. You need someone fiercely strong like Harry, and like James, Harry picked him for you because he saw what the man was. I let you go because it was the right thing to do.”

Q looked out the window and tried to come to terms with the knowledge that Merlin was right. Q had never had a sexual relationship with his Dom’s. It was all mental and emotional. They had indulged him in every other way possible. Love, a home, money, a place for him to tinker and more. He had never wanted for anything with Harry and Merlin, but Merlin alone wouldn’t have been enough. A tear slipped out and Q tried not to let more of his emotions show. A hand reached up and gently wiped it away. He turned and looked at the sad smile on Merlin’s face.

“Now, tell me, what else,” The gentle tone in Merlin’s voice had Q’s heart beating hard in his chest. He knew the man still loved him, but the knowledge that they wouldn’t be good for each other without Harry hurt more than he could say.

Q took a deep breath, “I don’t feel like I have my feet under me with James. He keeps me off balance all the time. He takes my choices away, he often tells me what to do. But, never at work. He respects the boundaries at work and that I’m, technically, his boss. But once we are alone, he’s more than just a Dom, I think…I think he wants to be my Master.” The revelation hit Q hard.

Merlin tried to hide the smile as he watched Q squirm under his gaze.

“That is precisely what you need, Quinn. You need to get out of your head, because if you were left on your own, you would live there. You’d forget, sometimes, even the most basic of needs. The worst times are when you go on about a new project you’ve dreamed up and you forget to eat, sleep and let’s not bring up the time you spent almost a week in your workshop and barely bathed. Tell me, what’s he done that’s upset you?’

“I…I don’t know if it’s upset me, perse. Just, I’m not used to it. I never had a Master, Merlin.”

“I fear that was Harry’s fault. He gave into you far too often. Quinn, go home, accept who you are, and trust that James knows you well enough to give you what you need, even if you think you don’t. You’re a submissive, but it does not mean you are weak. Quinn, you are one of the strongest men I know and to let go, to submit takes strength. To admit that what you need is a Master, takes trust to give yourself to another person. You have that in you, trust yourself and trust James.” Merlin stood and pulled Q with him. The kiss was soft and sweet and very much a goodbye. Q pushed down on those emotions, not wanting to admit that his heart was shattering.

Q wanted, something more. He wasn’t even sure what. He was not even sure if coming here had been a good idea because he was more conflicted than before. Taking a deep breath he hugged Merlin and said his goodbyes. He had wanted to ask about the young man, but knew it would have been an exercise in futility. Merlin had found another Dom, he had moved on and somehow that also broke Q’s heart just a little bit more.


Part 4

Q was stepping off the plane and was yet again wondering if he was doing the right thing. He walked to the baggage claim and waited for his bag to come around. As he waited he pulled the address out of his pocket and stared down at it for the hundredth time, even though it was burned deeply in his memory. He knew it was a huge breach of protocol as well as trust, but his obsession over knowing who James’s consort was kept nagging at him.

It took a few minutes for the bags to appear on the carousel, and he waited patiently for his. When it came around he grabbed it then walked off to a taxi stand. He quickly found one willing to take him to Franklin Park, Virginia. Q wasn’t even really sure what he was going to do when he got there, he had a fleeting thought that he should have treated this like a mission. Made a plan of attack, then work through any curveball thrown at him. The only problem with that was, he had no one in his ear helping to direct him. He was completely and totally on his own. He looked down at the cuffs on his wrists and knew if James found out where he was at, well he didn’t want to think about that.

The taxi ride took a while as they had to navigate out of Washington DC traffic, but once out, the ride to the address was rather quick. The colonial style home the taxi stopped at wasn’t anything like Q expected. In fact, he wasn’t sure what to expect. The home, on the outside, was gorgeous and very early American with ornate brick work and stately columns on the wraparound porch. The tall two story home wasn’t quite a mansion, but it wasn’t a small row house either. Q looked at the circular drive and saw two cars parked out front which gave the impression someone was home. It was Saturday, but in their line of work that didn’t necessarily mean anything.

He sat there a moment and thought back to his conversation with Merlin and ignored most of his advice. It wasn’t just curiosity that was pushing at him, it was something else. Something deep down that he couldn’t get a grasp of. He wasn’t even sure anymore what answers he was seeking.

Grabbing his bag, he stepped out of the taxi, paid the driver then walked up to the front door. As he was about to ring the doorbell, nerves making him sick to his stomach, a hand stopped him.

Q swallowed hard as he slowly turned his head and looked into the very blue eyes of James Bond.

“You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you Q?” Bond’s tone was hard and angry, and Q knew he had broken something between them.

“I…” The smooth lie that he had prepared for the possibility for this very situation slipped away from him when he looked into the stormy gray of his lover’s eyes. “No, I couldn’t.”

“Alright, then ring the doorbell. Go on Q.” Bond stood back with his arms crossed over his chest and Q knew he was in trouble. He put himself in this situation and Bond was forcing him to see it through. With a shaking hand, Q pressed the doorbell and waited. It was a couple of minutes before he heard soft footfalls approaching the door and a muffled voice call out to whoever was in the house. A fiddling with locks and the door was being opened.

Q tried to hold in his breath at the man that opened up. Tall, dark skinned with a gorgeous smile. The collar that was around his neck was a solid piece of silver, as were the cuffs on his exposed wrists. His Dragon house sub marks were visible about the neck of his t-shirt. Then when he spoke, Q really didn’t know what to do. The voice was smooth like good European chocolate, deep and rich with an edge of dark to it.

“Good afternoon, can I help you?”

Q stood there almost speechless. He felt Bond at his back, prodding him.

“I…I’m sorry I probably shouldn’t be here. I was looking for a Mr. Aaron Hotchner.”

“Just a minute. Hotch someone here to see you.” The man moved out of the way and an equally gorgeous man took his place. But it was the man’s presence that made Q shake a little. This can’t be right Q thought. The man’s eyes bore into him, almost like he was trying to assess him in a few short seconds.

“Yes, Quinn, he very much is trying to size you up. Isn’t that right, A.” Bond moved into the line of sight of the stranger, whose eyes widened and Q was lost for words when the man sank to his knees right there in his own entryway.

“Sir,” Aaron’s eyes were turned downward.

“Stand, Aaron. You know I don’t want to see you like that.” The man got to his feet with ease, and Q saw the tender affection on Bond’s face as he stepped up, reached a hand out, and cupped Aaron’s cheek. A kiss, soft and tender passed between them.

“Come in.” Q took note that the man looked a bit flustered that they were there as he stepped into the house. “Let’s go into the den.” Aaron walked away, then took his sub’s hand, and Bond and Q followed them through the house.

When they got to the room in question there were three steps down into it and as soon as both Bond and Q moved fully into the room, the sub closed the doors behind them. Without any prompting, Aaron moved fluidly as he took off his polo shirt, then his undershirt and set them aside. Once he did, he again sank to his knees, hands clasped in front with his back to Bond. Q knew this was some kind of protocol for Consorts. He just wasn’t sure what to expect now. He hadn’t thought Bond would follow him, which was stupid on his part, because of course Bond was going to follow him.

Bond moved to Aaron and gently ran his fingers over the large blue Phoenix tattoo that took up most of the man’s back. It was beautifully done and Q couldn’t help analyzing it.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” The sub, who he had yet to be introduced to, had come up next to Q.

“It is. It’s unusual for Dragon House, though, isn’t it?”

“I designed it myself Q. It very much symbolizes Aaron. He gave me his submission, not because he felt compelled to, like you, but because he wanted to. Like I told you before, he wanted to understand what it is to submit, to give yourself over completely into the hands of a Dom. Tell me,” Bond turned to the man standing next to Q, “Did it make him a better Dom?”

“It made him not just a better Dom, but an amazing person. He’s told me a little of your time together, but I’ve never needed to know. I trusted that he would tell me, or we’d be introduced when he felt it was right.” Q closed his eyes a moment and knew he had broken Bond’s trust.

James turned back to Aaron and got on his knees.

“You don’t ever have to kneel for me Aaron. I know the protocols, but you never have to do this. I don’t want you to.” Bond stood and Aaron followed. “You have another mark?” Bond noticed the edges of another tattoo peeking out from the low slung jeans Aaron was wearing.

Aaron undid the jeans and dropped them to the floor. Bond’s eyes widened as he touched the top of the mark. It went from Aaron’s hips, and down his leg wrapping around. It was a cherry blossom tree that rose up with the apex of the tree around Aaron’s hip. Falling blossoms, scattered around with jasmine vines wrapped one way around the tree and a dragon wrapped the other way. It was the house inheritance mark.

“Exquisite. When did this happen?”

“Recently. Derek and I were in seclusion for a couple of weeks. A lot of things have happened recently and we needed the time. Father approached me and I accepted.”

Q was standing there confused about what was going on. He did figure out, though, that the man standing next to him had to be Derek.

“Q, meet Aaron Hotchner, the adopted son of Jaw-Long Jiang, the current owner and house master of Dragon House. What you see is the inheritance mark. Aaron will inherit the house and all it stands for when Master Jiang passes.

“Do you now understand, Q, why I wanted to keep him anonymous?”

“Because he could be used against you and against Dragon House,” Q bowed his head and realized his mistake in coming here. If eyes were watching Bond at all, especially the eyes of SPECTRE, then he, by coming here, could have put the man and his family in danger.

He also knew it was going to take time to build Bond’s trust in him again.

“James, what’s going on?” Aaron asked as he slipped his clothes back on, then crossed his arms over his chest. Q practically swallowed his tongue as he looked at the Dom. Aaron wore his Dominance like a second skin for the world to see, while Bond moved through life with an air of quiet confidence. Aaron screamed Dom, while Bond did not, but there was also no mistaking who and what Bond was. He didn’t have to announce it, he just was. Q wondered if it was the difference in their occupations that made them that way.

Not taking those hard, icy blue eyes off of Q as Bond stepped in front of him, he crossed his arms and started to tell Aaron what was happening.

“There is an organization that we are tracking. Calling themselves SPECTRE. They aren’t just controlling minor illegal activities, they are at the direct center of most of the world’s upheaval. We aren’t sure just how deep it goes. A plot to take over and monitor every piece of communication the world over was stopped. The head of the organization was taken in, but that does not mean its dismantled. I did not want them aware of you as you and your family could be used against me and against our House.

“But, Q’s curiosity, well, here we are. This is all because I offered my collar and he has yet to accept. He doesn’t trust me and what we have between us.” Q looked up and saw the flash of pain in Bond’s eyes and the depth of his betrayal hit home.

“James…”

“No. We will deal with this when we get home.” Bond turned away, anger in every line of his body. He was quiet, and Q knew when Bond was quiet, that was when he was most dangerous.

“James, are Jack, Derek and myself in danger?”

“I don’t know. But, if you agree, I can have Felix monitor what we know of SPECTRE and make sure you stay safe. I need to know that you will stay safe.”

Aaron smiled and Q couldn’t help his reaction to it. He swallowed hard and Derek just gave a chuckle. The man obviously knew what an effect his Dom had on others.

“You should have seen an audience reaction when we exhibited. He made more than one Dom sink to their knees.”

Q could only nod as he tried to get control of the himself. The thought of watching these two exhibit was almost more than Q could bear.

“James, I head a team that goes after Serial killers. Safe is relative.”

“Well, I for one am not letting you walk into any situation without a vest ever again.” Derek smirked, and Q wondered if this was an old argument between the two men.

“Then I’ll just have to think of something, now won’t I.” Q knew Bond wanted him to remedy this situation. One that he knew he had created.

“I can have a new security system put into place. One that is much better than your current one. I can have alerts built into it that will directly ping to my computer in Q-Branch. I can also come up with a wearable tracker. Maybe watches, or some other jewellry. One can be specially made for Derek’s collar, if that would be agreeable to you.”

Aaron studied Q, and the boffin felt like maybe this was what people who ended up in his interrogation room might feel like. A part of him wanted to squirm under that steady glare, but he stood his ground.

“You come up with the tech, especially if it will assure our safety, we’ll use it.” Aaron studied him for a moment before looking at Derek, who gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“We have room if you want to stay the night.”

“Thank you Aaron. We’d be grateful,” Bond answered before Q could say anything. Before showing them to a room, Bond walked back to the porch and grabbed his bags he had left there. Once that was taken care of Aaron showed them to one of the guest rooms.

As they walked through the house Q couldn’t help noticing the quiet wealth that surrounded them. Everything was understated, but Q could see the value and expense. But, there was a warmth that permeated all throughout. It spoke of home and love. Q understood the depth of what he had done, though he wasn’t sure how to fix it. When they entered the bedroom, it wasn’t anything like Q expected. It was also that warm understated luxury, but he noticed all the things built into the room for possible play.

“Thank you Aaron. We do appreciate this.”

“James, if you need time…the playroom is down the hall, turn left and down a short flight of stairs. The only thing we ask is that you lock the door. We don’t want Jack to walk in. If you need anything, just ask. We were going to grill outside, you are more than welcome to join us.”

“We’ll let you know.” Bond and Aaron parted and Bond shut and locked the door. He glared at Q once again.

“I’m sorry. I’m very sorry James.”

“I asked you to leave it. I had my reasons Q and yet you didn’t listen to me. I laid myself bare for you Q. No one else. I’ve always given you not just what you need, but what you want. And this is how you repay me? Going behind my back?”

Bond was normally a man of few words and Q knew his Dom had been hurt.

“I will accept whatever punishment you believe that I deserve.” Q didn’t even wait for a command as he dropped to his knees, hands behind his back and head bowed in supplication.

Q listened as Bond moved around the room, seeing out of the corner of his eye as the Dom grabbed a bag and walked out of his line of sight. He heard the clack of the zipper opening and worried about what is was that Bond had brought with him.

He didn’t have to wait long as a play collar was wrapped around his neck and secured with a rather heavy lock in the back. He was commanded to open his mouth and a gag was secured. He heard more shuffling, then Bond was in front of him once again.

“Stand.” Q stood up on shaky legs, misery filling his heart as he saw the hurt in his Dom’s eyes. His breath almost stopped as he realized that he had stopped thinking of Bond as a Dom, and started thinking about him as his Dom. Though he wondered if that was still a possibility after what he had done.

“Strip.” Q didn’t take long to comply to the order as he stripped out of his clothes. “Don’t move.” He tried to swallow around the gag, but couldn’t. When he felt his cock being gripped and a punishment cage wrapped around him, he almost protested, but remembered he had brought this on himself.

“I should spank you.” Bond looked at him like he was considering it and Q knew it wasn’t going to be the pleasant kind.


Part 5

Dinner was torture. At least for Q it was. His ass was on fire and hurt every time he moved. James just had to suggest they have their dinner outside on the redwood picnic style table. He wasn’t allowed to speak and he knew if they were home, James would have cuffed him and had him kneeling and naked. He knew this was a compromise since James could have done much worse, but like he had said at the beginning of their relationship, what brought Q pleasure would never be used against him in punishment. He was glad that Bond had always kept his word. It’s what made this all even worse.

James also took his tech away. All of it. Including his tablet and phone. That had to be the worst. He ate what James plated for him, not even being allowed to do that for himself. James took away his choices and he knew it was all part of his punishment. He kept his head down and slowly ate as conversation flowed around him.

It also didn’t help that the boy, Jack, kept looking at him and frowning. Luckily his father’s kept him occupied so he wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. He was a bright boy and Q knew he would figure it out, or Aaron would explain to him what was going on. He wondered if the boy had never been exposed to one father punishing the other. The thought made him sigh as he took a drink of the lemonade, which confused the hell out of him at first. It wasn’t a lemon soda, which was one of his favorites outside of his beloved Earl Grey. He had wanted to ask “What the fuck is this?” but remembered he wasn’t being allowed to talk. It took him a few sips to figure out whether he liked it or not. Derek seemed to have taken some pity on him and added some smashed blackberries, stirred it and handed it back. He took another sip and found that this he could learn to like. He let out a tiny smile and Derek just sat back enjoying his own concoction.

He was brought out of his musings when he heard Aaron asking a question.

“James, can I ask you something?” Aaron lifted a brow as he held his fork in front of him ready to take a bite of the perfectly prepared steak.

“Yes, does not mean I will answer.” The grin just make Aaron chuckle as he took his bite and waited till he was done. Sitting back against the bench back, Aaron took a drink of his wine and wiped his hands on his napkin. He took a moment and Q looked up with just his eyes and saw a haunted look come over his face.

“Was it you that made Foyet “disappear”? And if you did, how did you know?”

Bond smiled softly as he looked over at his Consort and Q was trying to not feel that little pang of jealousy.

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t keep tabs on you now did you?”

“James. You know I can take care of myself. Derek and I take care of each other.”

“Yes, but we had better ways of tracking the man. And Boothroyd, well it was one of his underlings that figured the man out. When I heard he was stalking you did you not think I would find him?”

“I shouldn’t ask what happened to him, should I?”

Bond let some of that hard exterior slip into place as he fingered the stem of his glass.

“No. It’s better if you didn’t. I wasn’t going to let him hurt you, or your family. I will never apologize for protecting you Aaron. That duty doesn’t fall away just because we parted. A part of you will always be mine. Besides your father would kill me himself if anything happened to you and it could have been prevented.”

Aaron softly laughed and knew that Jaw-Long would probably do just as Bond said.

Q finished his dinner in silence and waited. When it got too dark out the four men and young boy went inside, where coffee or tea was made. Derek left to get Jack settled in with a video game. Q watched man and boy for a moment and wondered what it would be like to be a parent. When a cup of Earl Grey made it into his hands Q was rather surprised, but tried not to show it as they moved into the den once more. This time he was ordered on his knees as conversation continued around him.

The whole evening had been a horrible ordeal, but it was a reminder to Q just how much Bond was disappointed in him. That disappointment more than anything was the worst part of the punishment.

“Come on Q, it’s time for bed.” Bond stood and pulled on the leash that Q had found himself getting very used to. Once inside the room, Bond ordered him to strip, then to lie down on the bed.

“Your punishment will end in the morning where we will talk about it. But not tonight.” Bond attached the leash to one of the hooks in the bed, then cuffs to ankles and wrists. Bond bound the ankles together, whereas he attached a chain to the cuffs. The cage was still on, and a small part of Q wanted to cry as his lover, his Dom, laid beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Turn it off, Quinn and go to sleep.”

Q turned into the pillow and tried his hardest to go to sleep.


Morning dawned bright and Q was being woken up by a cock being pressed inside him and a hand was gripping his now naked cock. Teeth scraped his shoulder as Bond pressed kisses to the back of his neck. He was still bound as Bond continued on as if the night before had been forgotten.

“Quinn…” Bond pushed in as he held Q’s ass open so he had better access to that tight entrance. “You have no idea what you do to me, how much I want to do to you.” He moaned as he bottomed out and Q cried out and shivered against the assault. Bond wasn’t taking it slow or easy, he used Q’s body and with each thrust, each pinch and bite, each slap and scrape of nails it brought Q closer and closer to begging for his release.

“Oh no, that isn’t going to happen for a long while Quinn,” Bond whispered in his ear as he pounded in the boffin’s ass. It didn’t take long for Bond to find his release, cumming inside his sub. Q was so hard and aching he begged for release.

“Shh, Q, it’s okay.” Q’s shoulders were being massaged, then the restraints were being taken off him. Bond rolled him over and pulled Q into his arms. “Do you understand why I punished you? It wasn’t out of anger. I won’t ever punish out of anger, but I was disappointed in you Q.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You haven’t trusted me. Even after all the care, you haven’t let yourself trust me. Did coming here answer any of your questions?”

Q pulled out of Bond’s arms as he sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed. He looked down at Bond, which was a strange sensation for him. He felt that Bond was still teaching him some kind of lesson that he wasn’t sure he knew what it was. Frowning, he tried to find the right words.

“Yes. I see the easy affection between you, but I know that’s all it is. He’s happy with Derek and I know I should have trusted you.”

“Then tell me where you went before you decided to come here.” The frown on Q’s face had Bond sitting up and gripping his sub’s chin hard, as he gave Q one of those piercing looks he was so well known for. “Don’t you think it’s time for truths Quinn?”

Q swallowed, but didn’t try to get out of Bond’s grip. He deflated as he looked right at his Dom.

“I found Merlin and I went to go see him.” The defiant look in Q’s eye had Bond sighing. He knew this might have been part of Q’s hesitation.

“Quinn, you haven’t let Harry go, have you?”

Q this time did try to break out of Bond’s hold because he knew, he knew he was at a breaking point and if he let himself give up Harry, it would change him. He would be Bond’s and that scared him more than anything.

“Stop!” Bond commanded and Q stilled, his eyes had filled but he refused to let the emotion take him. He watched as Bond stood up and pulled out of his overnight bag a pair of loose pants and a t-shirt. “Stand up.”

Confusion flitted across his face, but he stood on shaky legs, uncertainty over what Bond wanted or was going to do filled him. His heart was racing and he felt his hands begin to get clammy.

“Put on something comfortable and wait for me here. I will be but a moment.” Q didn’t say a thing as he tried not to wonder what Bond was going to do. Swallowing, he moved into the bathroom to clean-up. His cock had deflated, and he wasn’t even remotely aroused anymore. What he was, was scared. Bond had an agenda, and Q was completely in the dark about it. Padding back into the bedroom he pulled out a pair of his yoga pants. He had meant to keep up with his exercise, but the previous day had been very different than how he had expected it to go. Closing his eyes he tried to center himself, then dressed in the pants and a t-shirt he had brought to sleep in. He hoped that was what Bond wanted.

Bond stepped back into the room and grabbed Q’s hand. He didn’t say anything as he led the boffin through the large house and towards where Aaron had said the playroom was. Q became nervous about what was going to happen as Bond wasn’t talking.

“Quinn, you need to let go of Harry. You need to grieve. If you don’t it’s going to keep you at a distance from me, we will always have Harry between us, and I don’t want anything between us, Quinn.” Bond gave him that piercing look again and waited still because he wasn’t sure what Bond wanted, or why there were here. “Tell me now Q if you don’t want this. I cannot keep going with this between us, and if you want me to let you go, I will.” Q saw the storm in Bond’s eyes. He knew there was something more between them, had been for a while. He thought of his life without the 00 and almost dropped at the force of the pain that would cause.

“No!” Q blurted out as his heart raced and pain like he’d never felt before, even the pain of Harry’s passing, moved through him at the thought of losing James. His breath caught in his throat as he realized what he had just called the Dom in his head.

“I don’t want you to let me go,” Q knew he was at a turning point but he just didn’t know how to let go of Harry, how to grieve for the Dom he had loved. “I’m sorry James. I’m so sorry.” Q dropped to his knees without prompting and clasped his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry I’ve made you wait and dragged you through my emotional baggage. You don’t deserve that. You have been more than patient, more than willing to wait for me and it’s unfair to you.”

“Q, answer me honestly. Do you want this?”

Q didn’t even hesitate because he did. He wanted James, wanted what the Dom always gave him, but he also wanted this new dynamic between them. He had been afraid as James asserted more control, but Merlin was right, it’s what he needed. He looked back on all their interactions over the last few months and it dawned on him…those times James made him eat, left him tea, stopped him from overworking himself, forcing him home after working too long. Even those times across the coms on missions, James had made sure he was taking care of himself. The dynamic had always been there. James knew him better than he knew himself and as he was being completely honest with himself, which he was, he liked it. He liked having his choices taken from him, he liked how James cared for him, used him, hurt him all of those things he craved. He wasn’t willing to be a slave, he drew the line at that, but to give up control and to put it in James’s hands, that was what he wanted.

“Yes,” Q said as he kept his eyes down towards the floor.

“You understand now, don’t you Quinn?” Q felt the force of James’s stare, even though he wasn’t looking up.

“Yes.”

“And, are you willing to trust me?”

“I do trust you James, always.” The words were out of his mouth, but the truth of them hit him like a ton of bricks had just fallen on him. His chest hurt and his stomach was churning with how much emotion he was holding onto.

“I can help you Q. I can help you let go and grieve. If we are to move on, this is the step you must take. Do you understand?” James’s voice never wavered, never raised in anger, he kept himself even and neutral and Q just wanted to look up at him, to see his eyes, to know to know what the Dom was feeling.

Almost as if he sensed what Q needed, James got down on one knee and lifted Q’s face so they could look each other in the eyes.

“I’m not ready to give you the words you seek. We have too much work to do, too much to let go of, but Q, they are there and when we are both ready, they will be said. Know that you are the most important person in my life. From the moment Harry introduced us I could see right to your heart. I know you Quinn and I care very deeply for you, but you have to let go and give us a chance.”

Q wanted more than anything to fling himself in James’s arms, but he stayed right where he was. He knew if he did that nothing would be solved.

“Please, please, Sir…I…I…can’t do it alone,” Q’s breath hitched as his body shook with the force of the emotions that had risen to the surface, but refused to break. He was so close, he knew he needed whatever help James was offering.

“Take off your shirt and stay as you are. This isn’t going to be about pleasure, or pushing your boundaries. I want you to let go and I will help you do that when you feel ready, use your safeword. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Q knew his voice sounded weak, but he was slowly coming apart. He lifted the shirt off and James took it from him and set it aside. He waited there for what seemed like a very long time then a hand on his shoulder grounded him for just a moment. The first hit of the flogger was unexpected. It was a different sensation, not one he was used to. It was heavy and made a thud against him, almost like it was resonating through his whole body. After a few hits, Q started to get out of his head, and stopped thinking so hard. He let his thoughts wander, as James wielded the instrument with precision and control.

Q thought about one thing, or more correctly one person. Harry Hart. Even bringing the man’s face into his mind hurt. Everything about losing Harry had hurt, but he had buried it so deep because he thought that was what Harry would want. For him to just move on, but in truth he couldn’t do that unless he grieved like James had said. By burying his feelings, he was holding onto something he was never going to have again. Though, with James he just may have found something even better. He knew James was right,they weren’t ready for the words, but Q knew what it was, what it had been, love, and it scared him to his very core. For the simple fact that James was a 00 and there was the very real possibility that he wouldn’t come back from a mission one day, but as he doubled over and felt the grief crashing in on him he knew the future wasn’t written in stone. He couldn’t live with always thinking that James wasn’t going to come back like Harry hadn’t.

The cry that ripped out of him, that came from the very depths of his broken heart surprised even him and before he could stop himself he was yelling his safeword. The tears and the pain that had been stuck inside him all this time came flooding out and when strong arms wrapped around him and picked him up he knew he wasn’t alone anymore.


Part 6

After another day at the Hotchner’s, Q and James were flying home. Q felt hollowed out. He had cried so hard that he physically ached all over. James had been there the whole time, not letting him go. When he shook, strong arms held him. When he fell asleep, he was cared for, and when he woke, James let him have time to come to terms with the loss.

Getting home, to the only place that felt like home now, James’s apartment was a surreal experience for Q. He felt different, he knew he had changed and as he looked into his Dom’s eyes, he knew James had changed as well.

“I want you naked,” James said as the door snicked shut behind him. Q didn’t even hesitate. “Go into the living room, kneel and wait for me.”

“Yes, Sir.” There was no hesitation in his voice and none in following the commands that James gave him. He waited without worry. A few minutes later James was coming out of the bedroom and sat down on the couch.

“Tell me now, Q and no hesitation this time. I demand a definite answer.” James’s stare bore into him as he sat there a moment and looked like he was contemplating the question before asking it. “I want you to wear my collar, yes or no? If you accept you understand what it means, correct?”

Q let a small smile form as he watched the man that he could now admit that he loved, even if it was only to himself for the moment.

“Yes, Sir. I will accept your collar, and I know exactly what it means.” The storm of emotion Q saw in James’s eye let him know that he was making the right decision.

Setting a box on the table James opened it up and pulled out an exquisitely made dark brown leather collar that had a small Q in platinum imbedded on the front. A metal half circle was hanging down, the leather had been worked through the bar and was held securely in place. James picked it up and placed it around Q’s neck and the click of the small lock in the back made Q feel more safe and secure than he had in so very long. James held up a tag and etched into the metal it simply stated, Belongs to James. Q’s smile widened and he nodded his head letting his Dom know that he agreed. The soft sound of the tag being clipped into place almost had Q crying in happiness.

James reached over and gently cupped his cheek before leaning down and kissing his sub. Pulling back, Q had not noticed that a leash was attached. James stood and walked around Q, ordering his hands behind his back. Once there, James tied his hands and wrists together in a complicated Japanese bondage knot. The rope was pulled down and Q felt his feet and ankles being bound in the same way.

With a smirk on his face James pulled on the leash, forcing Q to shuffle forward as best he could, the pull didn’t stop till he was firmly planted between James’s legs. A hand in his hair gripped tight as his Dom’s eyes darkened with lust. The swell of James’s erection straining against his trousers wasn’t lost on Q as he waited in anticipation.

“You are going to suck my cock, then if you are a very good boy we will go in the bedroom where I will take you apart little by little till you are not just begging me, but you’ll scream for me to let you cum.” Q was sure that he was blushing as his pulse sped up and he shivered slightly in anticipation.

 

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