Love Out of Time – Chapter 9 – Reluctantly Home

Spencer stayed for a month with Aaron. He had given Aaron the amulet as a show of his commitment. The first thing he did was to establish an identity in the past. Though they both knew it skirted the law Spencer needed a driver’s license and other identification, as well as a bank account. After that was taken care of, he had taken several rolls of film and started to put together a new portfolio. He approached several of the local studios and was able to secure a showing. It wasn’t a large gallery, but Spencer knew he had to start somewhere.

In all the happiness he knew he had to go back home and secure a divorce and finalize things with Maeve. He admitted that it wasn’t perfect. Spencer couldn’t hold Aaron’s hand or kiss him in public. The couple of times they had forgotten themselves the threat of violence was to close. Spencer knew they had to be careful and at times it made him uncomfortable that their relationship was such a secret, but at night when he was laying in Aaron’s arms, he felt it was all worth it.

One night as they lay in each other’s arms Spencer brought up the subject of him having to go back home.

“Aaron, I need to go back. I have to talk to Maeve and,” he took a deep breath, “and ask for the divorce.”

“I knew you’d ask. I guess I wanted to be selfish for a while.” Aaron held him close and promised to give Spencer the amulet back the next day.

Spencer dressed carefully and kissed Aaron who looked anxious letting him go.

“Aaron, I promise, I’ll be back. I’ll try to make it only a couple of days.”

“I just, I worry something could go wrong if you use that thing.”

“I know, but nothing has so far. You’ve trusted me and I know this is a lot to ask but I promise I’ll be back. You’re too important to me Aaron.” Spencer kissed him before he wrapped his hand around the amulet its year set to 2011 and concentrated on the house he shares with Maeve.

He opens his eyes to see his room in a state of chaos. Clothes strewn around and torn, books off the shelf and one of his camera’s shattered on the floor. Thankfully it was one of the less expensive point and shoots. All the camera’s he cared about were back in 1963 with Aaron. The destruction surrounding him had him wondering how long he had been gone. His heart was hammering in his chest when he realized his studio was vulnerable. There were priceless photos, especially of James, that were down there. Rushing down he burst into the studio and took a deep breath. Nothing was damaged.

“Afraid I’d hurt your precious equipment?” Spencer felt guilty as he turned to look at his wife. “Where the hell have you been for the last three months? No one has seen or heard from you. Rob was evasive and Gabriela is pissed off at you.”

Fuck, Spencer thought as he closed his eyes.

“Who is she?” Maeve crossed her arms as she glared daggers at him. Spencer knew he could lie but what would be the point, so he decided to tell Maeve the truth.

“It isn’t a she Maeve.” Spencer steeled himself for her reaction. He almost wasn’t surprised by the slap. He felt he had it coming.

“Have you fucked him?”

“Maeve, please, it’s not quite what you think.” He took a deep breath and started to tell her about the time travel. She just lifted a brow and shook her head.

“You expect me to believe that you’re travelling back and forth in time?”

“I don’t really care what you believe or don’t believe Maeve. Like I said before I’m tired of all this. Tired of the fighting and the anger. Tired of the silent treatment and hiding in this house. Maeve, I think we must face the truth. A truth that neither of us wanted to face before. We’re broken beyond repair Maeve. I know it hurts you, but I’ve found someone who loves me for me. I want a divorce.”

Maeve stood there devastated. Spencer’s heart was breaking because for all the pain they had caused each other there was still a part of him that loved the person Maeve had been.

“I will always love the girl I married. But Maeve, you aren’t that anymore. James’s death broke us both and you won’t admit you need help. I’ve come to some rather hard truths over the last few months. We fell in love with each other’s minds, but neither of us fell for the person. If we had maybe, just maybe we wouldn’t have fallen apart like we did.”

Maeve just stared at him as pain and defeat shone on her face. “Maybe your right.” Spencer stepped closer and for the first time in months wrapped his arms around his wife. When he carded his fingers in her hair she broke down and cried. “I’m sorry Spence, I’m so sorry. James.” She practically wailed against Spencer as her knees buckled. He kept holding her tight as they fell to the floor on their knees. “My baby, my sweet boy. Why Spencer, why?”

Tears filled his eyes as he closed them tight, “I don’t know Maeve. We’ll never know why, but we move on. We move on and we live, for him.” He held her as the sobs wracked her body. Finally, this was what he had been waiting for. Maeve hadn’t let go of her grief; she had held it in so tight that Spencer wondered when she was going to finally crack.

When she was finally spent Spencer helped her off the floor and upstairs to his bedroom. He wasn’t going to put her in the bed she had been sleeping on. It was too much a reminder of James and right now she didn’t need that. He helped her out of her shirt and skirt then got her under the covers. He bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek then made his way into the kitchen. He put on some coffee and made something quick to eat. As soon as the coffee was done, he took a cup with his sandwiches into the library to wait until Maeve woke-up. They still needed to talk but he wanted her to rest after the emotional purge she had just experienced. He decided he needed to call his Uncle to let him know he was okay.

“ ‘LO,” Spencer smiled at hearing his Uncle’s voice.

“Hey Uncle Rob, its Spencer.”

“Shutterbug, I was beginnin’ to worry about ya’.”

“I was only gone for a month in Aaron’s time, but Maeve said it’s been three?”

“It’s one of the things I was worried ‘bout. Travelling between times gets tricky. I had only been gone two days and when I got back it was almost a week. And it sees the longer you are in one time it’s even longer in the other.”

“I think it has something to do with the space-time curve. It’s a mathematical theory that if you pass through time it stretches when you’re travelling, and it may be weeks on one side but months on the other. I think this thing proves that theory, but I don’t think anyone should really have it.”

“No, they shouldn’t Bug. What ya’ gonna do ‘bout it?”

“I asked Maeve for a divorce. I’ve found something precious with Aaron Uncle and I don’t want to lose it.”

Spencer was getting worried when his Uncle was silent for such a long-time.

“Just be careful Spencer. Ya’ haven’t made enough changes to affect the outcome of his death. I don’ want ya’ to go through anything like that again.”

“Well, I’ll just have to figure out how to keep him alive.”

“I hope ya’ know what yer doin’ Bug.”

“I do to Uncle, I do to.” Spencer said just before he hung up. It was two hours later when Maeve had come downstairs and found Spencer curled on the couch reading.

“You’re right.”

Spencer frowned as he looked up at his wife, “About what?”

“That I fell in love with your mind. That it was hard to sometimes accept you for what you wanted. I was disappointed when all you wanted to do was take pictures. I know it was petty of me to not go to any of your showings. I just, I knew you could do more and thought I was right. I thought the BAU was the place for you. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for a lot of things and I know I pushed you away.”

Spencer closed-up the book and set it aside and turned to look at his wife.

“We both had unreasonable expectations with each other Maeve. When James was first diagnosed, I expected you to find a cure. When it didn’t happen, I wanted to blame you, but it wasn’t either of our fault.”

“If you want a divorce, I won’t fight you on it Spencer.” Spencer fell back against the couch and let go of the pain and resentments that had built up over the past year. It wouldn’t do either of them any good to hold on to them.

“Thank you. I’m truly sorry that it’s come to this Maeve. I’m leaving you the house, both cars and the money in our joint account. I only ask for my clothes and all my photo CD’s.”

“You don’t have to be that generous Spencer.”

“Yes, I do,” he said as he got up off the couch and went back into his room to see what he could salvage. Taking what he had left of the newer wardrobe he would take it to his Uncle’s and pack everything, hoping that a suitcase would be able to go back with him. He then went to his studio and gathered up all his photos, film albums and CD’s and put them in one of his storage bags and took that with him as well. He called his Uncle and asked for him to be picked up. Two hours later his Uncle had arrived and waited for him outside.

“Maeve, I’ve taken everything I want. Do with the rest what you will.”

“Spencer….” She didn’t say anymore he wasn’t even sure if there was more to say.

“I did love you Maeve, once.” Spencer said sadly as he gathered up the remnants of his life with his wife and walked out the door for most likely the last time in his life.

The drive to his Uncle’s was made in silence and when they finally arrived Spencer just wanted to be alone for the rest of the day.

The next day he went to the bank and pulled out all the money he had put away from his art shows and sales of his pints. He went through it and pulled out bills that wouldn’t raise any suspicion in 1963. The rest he found dealers that he could trade the new for the old. When he was done with that he researched and found a lawyer and began the process for the divorce. All in all, it took a few days because it was no contest, Maeve signed the papers with no protest. Spencer was able to get them filed and finalized within days. Their respective lawyers said that it would take about six weeks for the courts to file it on their end and they would get confirmation soon after.

Spencer realized that to the lawyers they seemed cold and emotionless when in reality they were both grieving the loss of something they had once been so hopeful for. Later that night after packing and stuffing his money in the suitcase Spencer held onto the amulet after changing the date. He held onto the suitcase tightly and kept Aaron’s apartment firmly in his head he felt the pull once again to the past. When he finally came all the way back, he dropped the case and seeing Aaron stretched out on the couch he went to him and fell in his arms and broke down.

“Penny,” Aaron wrapped his arms around his lover and held him tight. “I’m so sorry Penny. I’m so very sorry.”

Spencer curled up against Aaron and let himself be cared for as he grieved for his past while hope bloomed even brighter for his future.