Q’s Deception

Q sat in his chair in his lab with the plans laid out around him. He had activated the proximity sensor that would ping on his work phone to let him know if anyone came down there. He looked them over one last time, checked his contacts to make sure everything was set. Now all he had to do was set his agents loose and hoped that they didn’t cock this up like they were wont to do.

Aida and Radames were circling around his chair, telling him they wanted to go home. Smiling, Q picked up Aida and snuggled her for a moment before putting her back on the floor so she could goad Radames into playing with her.

“We’ll leave in a few, my lovelies.” Q watched their antics for a moment before he got back to what he was doing. The last thing he needed to check was the final destination. He needed to make sure that his contacts were correct and everything was set. Once he got his confirmations, Q packed up two kits, put the plans he was going over in a locked secret drawer in his desk and turned off the proximity alarm. Once he was sure he was set, he called up the two agents he had in mind for the mission at hand.

“006, 007 I need to see you in the laboratory, as soon as possible.”

Be there as soon as we can, Q,” Bond said a moment later.

Q made sure that he had his laptop updated with his current security protocols. He then called Moneypenny to double-check one last detail, then he was set.

Taking out one of his projects, a new jammer that could work on the most sensitive of security systems. He was hoping to get a prototype working during the first of the new year. For now, he was happy to tinker with it, testing it out in stages as he went.

“Q, we’re here. What is it you need?” Alec asked as he walked into the lab with Bond following behind him.

Q took out the dossiers, one for each agent, and handed them over along with the new kits.

“I’m going to ask that you at least try to bring back all of the equipment in one piece.”

“Jameska, it’s like he doesn’t trust us.” Alec leaned a hip on Q’s desk, which earned him a slap of a ruler on his leg.

“Off. I have very delicate equipment on this desk.” Q glared as Alec moved away.

“Watch it, Q. He just might like that a little too much.” James smirked at Alec as he opened up the kit.

Q narrowed his eyes at both men. He wasn’t as oblivious to their flirting as they believed. He just chose to ignore it. If neither man wanted to make a real move and ask him out proper, he was going to ignore their innuendos. At least for now.

“Just, be careful.”

“Earbuds, four this time. I would believe that our Quartermaster does not trust us? Niet?” Alec rummaged around and Q kept his put upon face as he looked between the two agents.

“No, I suppose we have not given him any reason to trust us. But then again, we haven’t really been very good with his precious tech.”

Q closed his eyes and almost rethought this whole thing. Then Bond was right there, leaning over his right shoulder, close enough where Q could feel the breath on his cheek, but far enough he wasn’t interfering.

“So what is this mission?”

“One of our agents, not a 00, but a support agent has gone missing. He left four kits in four different hiding places. His last transmission to MI6 said that he needed to go silent and would contact again when safe. That was three days ago. M is worried. Each kit contains some vital information on an organization that looks to be a rival of SPECTRE. They are calling themselves SMERSH and they seem to have a similar agenda to SPECTRE. In that dossier is your first contact and where to find the first kit. Get out there, get the information we need, and find our agent.”

“And why isn’t M or Tanner giving us this mission?” Bond was still a little too close to Q as he spoke. The warm breath trailed along Q’s neck, making him shiver just slightly. He controlled the rest of his body as much as he could, but he knew Bond had seen. He could practically hear the smirk on the man’s face.

“Because the agent is one of mine. It was a quick milk run. He’s trained much like the rest of you, but he has not killed. Doesn’t want to so, M gave him to me and I use him from time to time for easy missions.”

“And what happens if he gets in trouble?”

“He has a special gun and that is all I’m going to say about it because neither of you is going to get your hands on it. Now go.”

Q tried to act uninterested in their banter as 006 and 007 grabbed their things and walked out of the lab. Q sat back and let Aida jump up into his lap. Stroking the top of her head he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“You’re a good puss, aren’t you sweetheart?” Q sighed and knew that Bond had been trying to apologize to him for the way he had left. There had been no commitments between them when Bond had taken the Aston and ran off with Madeline. They had barely had one sort-of date and one proper shag. Other than that, Bond had been free to do what he wanted. Q had just assumed after their one night together that the damned 00 would choose to stay and see what it was that was between them. Q should have known better. Bond was a right arsehole.

In the time that he had been gone, Alec had started to show up at his place for tea, to talk, or just watch the telly with each other. Nothing untoward happened, not that Q wasn’t interested because he certainly was. Alec just never made a proper move towards him. Q wondered if Alec was trying to build up the courage to make a move, or is he was just there trying to console him after Bond’s disappearance.

Then out of the blue, after almost a year of being gone, Bond shows up at Q’s workshop, with the Aston in one piece parked right in the garage where Q had been having a go at another vehicle. When he looked up and saw that it was Bond driving, a part of him wanted to run to the man and hug him. The other, rational part of himself wanted to slap the man. In the end, Q did neither. He greeted Bond, who just squeezed his shoulder and moved on towards the elevator that would take Bond to the upper floors. Q had tried to ignore the man ever since. However, Bond made that impossible. After missions that man always lingered around Q-Branch, or camped out in Q’s rarely used office. And over time, without trying all that hard, Q began to forgive him.

Q was done playing their games, now they were playing his. Q snickered as he got Aida and Ramses into their soft carriers and closed up for the night. He shut the lab down, made his way through MI6 to M’s office.

“I’ll be off for holiday, M. R has all of the current mission schedules, and Clancy from the tech pool is going to come in and fill in where needed.”

“Right, Q. And where are 006 and 007?”

Q’s smile had a hint of the mischievous.

“Oh, they have a mission alright. But, it’s personal.”

“Hmm, finally going to work out all of that ruddy business between you three?”

“Don’t worry, Sir. I won’t break them. I promise they will come home in one piece. Unlike my equipment.”

M laughed and shook his head.

“Gone on then. Have a good holiday, Q.”

“Thank you, Sir. And Sir?”


“Don’t contact me unless something goes completely tits up.” Q raised a brow as M was going to say something, but thought better of it.


“Goodnight, Sir.”

Q walked out of the office and hailed a taxi. He had not wanted to deal with his vehicle that day, and soon a car would be arriving to drive him to the airport.

Q had a surprise waiting for two unsuspecting ’00s.


Q wanted everything perfect by the time Bond and Trevelyan decided to show up. He hoped they followed all instructions and didn’t look inside the packages. At least not till they arrived.

After getting to the chalet in the Swiss Alps, Q set a fire in the fireplace, put on some music, a variety of classical, Christmas music, and slo-pho. He had already made a variety of sweets, cookies, fudge, and a Christmas pudding. Homemade eggnog was in the fridge and some mulled cider was on a low simmer in a crockpot.

Q also had the makings for Christmas dinner, with a small goose thawing the fridge. It was still two days away and if his calculations were correct the two idiots should be arriving later that night. That was if they followed the trail he had laid out for them and didn’t cock-up any part of it. So far there were no panicked calls from either agent, which could be a good sign or a very bad sign. Q was patient, he knew them too well at this point to get overly worried about not hearing from them for two days.

Next was getting the spa tub filled with hot water, which should be perfect later that night. Q hummed to himself and was confident that the next few days were going to go exactly as he wanted.

Lights were lowered to a soft glow, thick white candles were lit and set all about the lounge and the bedroom, and Q was stretched out on the bed naked and waiting. The temperature in the luxurious bedroom had been set to where he could be naked on top of the cover and be comfortable.

Q had his tablet, and a couple of books with him to entertain himself while he waited. Aida and Ramses were curled up on the edge of the bed together, sleeping. Q couldn’t think of a more perfect setting to finally get his two idiot agents to make their move.

Q was deep into working on some code when he saw the flashing light in the bedroom alerting him to an intruder. Cocking up a brow, Q closed down the program and pulled up the security app on the tablet. It let him see all around the chateau. Smiling, Q saw two familiar figures skulking around the perimeter of the house.

Wondering for a moment whether he should make this easy, or difficult, Q pressed a few commands on the tablet, turning on the floodlights he had installed over the summer. Bond went down flat on his belly, while Trevelyan went flat against the house. Q watched gleefully as the two agents did their best to stealthily approach the front door.

Q hesitated a moment. He didn’t want to hurt them, but they had to keep believing the charade for just a few more moments. Just as Bond got to the door, Q entered another command, and when Bond tried to pick the lock, he got a shock that knocked him back onto his ass. Trevelyan tried to stifle a laugh, while still maintaining a serious stance.

“What the bloody hell,” Bond cursed under his breath.

“Maybe you lost your touch, Jameska,” Alec teased as he approached the door. Activating his night vision goggles, Alec looked around the door and found the wires that were near impossible to see with the naked eye. Following them to a tiny fuse box that was cleverly embedded around the door handle, Trevelyan cut the wire close to the box.

Q was rather proud of his agents. He knew many underestimated them. Saw them as just big, slightly stupid, but deadly men. That was very far from the truth. Both Bond and Trevelyan weren’t at the top of their classes during training for no reason. Bond was also a very good hacker himself. Q knew if he spent time with him, he could be an excellent hacker. Both had amazing situational skills and could think quickly on their feet. They weren’t the best because they could kill efficiently, they were the best because they were smart. Besides, Q didn’t abide by stupidity and there would be no way that he could be attracted to anyone who didn’t have at least a modicum of intelligence.

Q decided to stop playing with them, and when Trevelyan picked the lock, Q killed the lights, turned off his tablet and laid back, waiting.

Aida and Ramses lifted their heads at the almost indecipherable noises coming from the downstairs area of the chateau. Q knew the two agents would be wondering what the hell was going on by now, and Q smiled at how devious he had been in this whole thing. But, he thought they needed to work for what it was he was offering.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?”

“I don’t know, Jameska, but I have a feeling we have been set-up.”

“By who?”

“You have not figured it out?”

Q heard the voices just outside the bedroom just before the two men burst inside, guns pointed at him.

“I don’t think those will be necessary, Agents, do you?”


“So, this was all to lure us here?” Bond stripped off his gear and set it in a chair next to the door, Trevelyan did the same.

“Of course. You two, as smart as you are, are both idiots. Neither of you wanted to make a move and harm your own relationship, and please don’t even try to deny it.” Q stood and approached the two men. Without saying a word he grabbed Bond by the back of his neck and kissed him. Letting Bond go, Q did the same to Trevelyan. The two men stared at him slightly dumbfounded.

When Bond finally found his voice again after a moment he cleared his throat, grabbed the packages and threw them on the bed.

“And just what are in those?”

Q’s grin turned wicked.

“Open them.”

Bond narrowed his eyes and hesitated a moment. Then seeing no deception on Q’s face, he opened the first package and blushed. Q was surprised that he could make the normally unflappable 007 blush, for in his hand was a butt plug.

The second package held wrist cuffs, the third a set of cock rings, and the fourth was some warming body oil.

Trevelyan, not wanting to be left out, grabbed his packages and threw them on the bed and opened them up.

In one was some bath oils, the second held a homemade naughty coupon book. Things like blowjobs, erotic massage, and more. Each was named on who would give and who would receive. Trevelyan handed it to Bond to look over, and Q wasn’t disappointed by the look in both men’s eyes. The third package held various, and rather interesting sex toys. The last was a little thicker than the others, and when Trevelyan opened it, silky pyjama bottoms and half-robes fell out.

There was a blue set, green set, and a red set with little blue and green bows on the pyjama bottoms. Bond and Trevelyan smiled and knew exactly whose those were.

“You two should be able to figure out which is which. After you do, and you get yourselves out of your clothing, you can join me in the bath.”

“What is it Americans say? That we’ve been punked?”

Q put a little sway to his hips as he walked out of the bedroom and towards the bathroom.

“I think, Jameska, the Boffin has tired of our games.”

“So it seems.”

Q wanted to laugh as he heard the two men talking about their ‘mission’ and the things Q had put them through. He was always of the thought that if something was worth having, it was worth fighting for. Q stepped down into the tub and closed his eyes.

A few moments later, Q heard the quiet footsteps of the two men and kept his eyes closed. He would wait till he knew what they were going to do. The gentle splashing of water told him that Bond and Trevelyan were stepping into the bathtub. He waited to find out what else they were going to do.

Q anticipated the hands on him a moment before he felt them. The kiss from one, then the other set his body humming in anticipation of the night.

“Is this what you wanted, Q?”

Q opened his eyes to see icy blue ones staring back at him with so much emotion swimming there, that his own heart stopped for a moment.

“Because we are more than happy to oblige.” Alec kissed up the side of Q’s neck, then just behind his ear making the boffin moan as he arched into James’ touch.

“Yes, you bloody bastards.” Q looked to the side and saw Alec moving to stand in front of him, then taking his mouth in a deeper, more passionate kiss. Q knew he was already lost. The want of the two agents was like a fire that burned deep inside him, and he knew he would give everything to them, even down to his very soul.

Q had admitted to himself long before that he was in love with the both of them, he was content for a long time to be their solace, the one they could trust to bring them home. Q had enjoyed their banter, and at times the small confessions they would make from time to time when feeling particularly alone on a mission. Q had vowed to never let them feel like they were alone when he was right there, just on the other end of the line.

Hands gripped Q, touched him in ways he hadn’t been touched in a long time. Q had stopped all endeavors of looking for that one person because he had found, not one, but two he could love wholly and unconditionally.

His body was quivering with need as he was lifted by strong arms and breached by one, while the other was content to hold him, touch him, kiss him while the other took his pleasure in his body.

Q’s thoughts flew apart as his heart filled with possibilities. He knew they needed to talk, but not here, not in the throes of passion as he was taken in hand, words whispered in his ears as he was pushed closer and closer to that sweet surrender of both body and heart. Q wanted to believe the words, hoped they were true and not said just because of the passionate embrace they were sharing.

Surrendering to the wants and needs of the physical, Q shuddered as he released his seed while he was pushed back into the body under him, still trying to find his own sweet end. The other was kissing him again with a passion Q had rarely ever experienced from past lovers. He felt the shudders of the one under him while he was held tightly in two sets of arms, the three men stayed together, holding each other basking in the love that each felt, but was too afraid to voice.

Finally, Trevelyan let, Q go so Bond could move from underneath the boffin. The three men spent time cleaning each other, touching and more kissing as they did. Silently, and too full of emotion to speak right away, Q got out of the bath, pulled one of the soft terry cloth robes from the rack on the wall around him and padded into the bedroom where he finished drying off and slipped on the pyjama bottoms. Feeling tired he got under the covers and started to fall asleep. He sighed in contentment when he felt himself being spooned from the back, and cuddled from the front. Finally, he could sleep in the safety of his lover’s arms.


The rest of the week the three men spent most of their time in bed, getting to know each other on a physical level. They would crawl out for food, coffee or tea, showers, and other necessities, but for the most part, they didn’t leave much at all.

Q could be on his tablet, stretched across the two agents, head in Bond’s lap, legs curled on Trevelyan’s thighs, both of them reading, or playing with Q, trying to break him, which sometimes worked.

Aida and Ramses didn’t let themselves get left out as they made their needs known. They kept gravitating to Bond and started to gravitate towards Trevelyan when they felt they were being ignored by the other two. Overall, the vacation had been relaxing, and enlightening by just how creative both ’00s could be in bed.

Q stretched out and felt warmer than he had in a long time, not just physically, but emotionally as well. The relationship he had before joining Q-Branch and MI6 had been emotionally damaging and at the time he vowed never to give his heart away again. That was before Bond and Trevelyan. The two infuriating men had wormed themselves into Q’s heart, but not that they were here, he was almost afraid to voice what he knew was now between them.

“Boffins need sleep if they want a special Christmas breakfast.”

Q lifted his head and looked at the smiling, relaxed look on Bond’s face.

“You know how to cook?”

“Of course. I don’t like to always go out. I promise it will be edible, Q.”

“I didn’t doubt that.”

Bond’s smile grew as he cupped Q’s cheek.

“Ah, but you don’t trust that it will be good.”


“I see I have my work cut out for me.” Bond stood out from under the bed and slipped on a pair of boxers and the pyjama bottoms and robe Q had bought them. “I promise you will love it.” The affection in Bond’s eyes had Q’s heart beating hard in his chest.

“Come on, Alec. You can help.”

“But who will keep our very naked boffin company, Jameska?”

“Don’t worry, he won’t be alone long.” Bond laughed as the cats jumped up on the bed and curled around Q who was now sitting back on the pile of pillows. He smiled as his babies cuddled next to him while the Bond and Trevelyan left him alone, bantering and egging each other on.

Q tried to set his feelings aside, not knowing what would happen when their holiday ended if this really was the start of something between the three of them. Q didn’t want to get his hopes up and his heartbroken. He would take the holiday and if that was all he ever got, he knew he could live with that.

Getting lost in code was nothing new for Q. It was his solace, the place he could go to lose himself for a few hours and not have to deal with the messy, nasty realities of life. It wasn’t until a cup of fragrant Earl Grey was waved under his nose till he came back to himself.

Smiling up at Bond, he took the cup and sipped, making humming noises as he closed his eyes.

“Perfect. Thank you, James.”

“You’re welcome, Q. Now, come on downstairs and get some breakfast.”

Q slid out of bed, threw on his pyjamas and followed Bond downstairs where a full English breakfast was spread out on the counter, family-style. There was also a plate of fresh scones, blueberry muffins, and some Scotch soda bread sliced thick waiting to be buttered.

“Wow, you did all of this?”

“Of course. Now, fill your plate, sit and eat.”

Q happily complied as he piled thick slices of grilled tomatoes, sausages, poached eggs, some English bacon, and some fried potatoes. He grabbed two slices of the bread as well as a scone. On the table were fresh jam and clotted cream as well as some butter.

“Where did you get the jam and cream?”

“Oh, there was a rather large gift basket out on the porch this morning. It’s over there. I promise we didn’t peek at the card. Saw the jam and cream and James could not resist.” Alec smiled cheekily as he popped a piece of scone in his mouth.

Q stood and found the card, opening it up he read the quick familiar scrawl.

Merry Christmas and all that. Thought you might like a little gift from your brothers. I hope you’re having a good time.

M & S.

Q slipped the card back into its envelope and put it in his robe pocket. Q sat down again and tucked into his breakfast. It was indeed delicious and Q was quite surprised that Bond could cook. Q had done most of the cooking the whole time they were in the chalet.

When breakfast was over, Trevelyan wouldn’t let Q clean-up, he did that while Bond pulled Q from his chair and walked him to the lounge where a fire was going in the fireplace, Christmas music played in the background, and the tree was lit with soft lights.

Bond sat first and encouraged Q to sit in his lap.

“Q, we wanted to ask you something. Think of it as a Christmas gift of sorts if you will.”

“What is it, James?”

“Alec and I talked it over that if we ever got this chance with you, well, we want you in our lives, permanently.”

“And what exactly does that mean, James?” Q tried his hardest not to look hopeful for whatever it was they were offering him.

“It means, Q, that we want you to be ours. To take care of you like you’ve come to take care of us. I know Alec and I are miserable bastards, and hard to live with, but we want you, Q.”

Trevelyan finished up in the kitchen and came to settle on the couch next to Bond. Q didn’t know what to say, this was everything he wanted, everything he hoped for.

“You make coming home worth it.” Trevelyan leaned towards Q, cupped his cheek and smiled.

“You both mean this? This isn’t just for the holiday, what’s between us that is.”

“No Q, not just for the holiday.”

“Then, yes. Yes, I want this. I want us.”

There were no words of love, though Q knew what he felt, he wasn’t sure if he could say them just yet, that would maybe come in time. He preferred actions, and the last week showed Q just what his two lovers felt for him. It was in the way he was touched and kissed. The way they took care of him, watched over him, let him be when he needed some alone time. It was in what they didn’t say that spoke the loudest. Q wasn’t sure that he needed the words, that maybe they would come in time when they were needed most.

Q was happy, almost content and he vowed on this bright Christmas morning to always bring them home to him safe and sound. To be there when the unspoken nightmares woke them, or the horrors of what they saw and did for Queen and Country stayed with them. Q vowed to be their solace in the dark world they had all chosen to live in. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he knew it would be worth it.