No More Silence

Title: No More Silence
Author: rivermoon1970
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Genre: Romance, Wedding
Beta: DarkJediQueen, no non-consensual beta
Warnings: Self-harm,  recovery
Word Count: 3127

Quiet nights of quiet stars quiet chords from my guitar/ Floating on the silence that surrounds us/ Quiet thoughts and quiet dreams quiet walks by quiet streams/ And a window looking on the mountains and the sea, how lovely/ This is where I want to be here with you so close to me/ Until the final flicker of life’s ember/ I who was lost and lonely believing life was only/ A bitter tragic joke, have found with you, the meaning of existence, oh my love.  Sung by Frank Sinatra

Aaron stood waiting at the front of the altar with the Pastor in front, Jack, Dave and Morgan behind him with JJ, Prentiss and Garcia on the other side. The music was playing and Aaron was scared.

He wasn’t scared about the things normal couples were afraid of, he was afraid of losing Spencer, of relapsing, of taking things one day at a time. He was afraid of bringing more children into their lives, but yet they both wanted it. He was scared of disappointing the one man that stood beside him through his worst. But most of all, he was scared of failing Spencer like he had Haley. He stood there, trying not to play with his sleeves, not to rub at the scars on his arms, not to fidget. He swallowed trying to make his dry throat not so dry.

Then the music changed and young Henry was walking down the aisle in his tux with the ornate box in his hand that held the rings. Then, Spencer. Standing there at the end of the aisle, smiling, his eyes only for one person in the room, Aaron.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and all those fears that had his stomach churning and the old need pushing at him went away. The closer Spencer moved towards him, the more Aaron knew he had nothing to worry about. This was where he wanted to be and who he wanted to be with. The past was just that, the past.

Spencer had taken those last steps and then he was there. Aaron’s heart was beating so hard in his chest, looking at Spencer took his breath away. The tux was perfect, the shirt was pale lilac, with darker lilac accessories. Aaron had a white shirt, but matching accessories. Spencer had let his hair grow to his shoulders and it had that tousled look that Aaron loved so much. But, it was those eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes that sparkled with love, humor, joy and so many other emotions that it simply took Aaron’s breath away.

Taking Spencer’s hand, they turned towards the Pastor and waited.

“Good afternoon friends and family of Aaron and Spencer. You are here today to celebrate their union, the beginning of something greater than the individual. Love and devotion, as well as arguments and sometimes tears. But, that is life. For without the pain, how can there be growth. Love binds us together, but it takes work, understanding, compromise and sharing to make it last. The time that I’ve spent with Aaron and Spencer, hearing their stories, and seeing them together, they are starting out on a strong foundation.

“Aaron and Spencer,” The Pastor smiled as he looked between them, “The love you have for each other is rare. You’ve walked through fires no one should experience. You’ve seen the very worst that humanity has to offer, as well as the best. You stand before me, with a strength that will let you weather any storm that heads your way.”

Aaron felt the words resonate deep within and knew that he and Spencer were strong. It had taken so much to get to this point in their lives. Secrets, lies, joys, pain, understanding. They had gone through a gauntlet and Aaron’s heart swelled knowing they came out the winners.

“The grooms have opted to say their own vows. Aaron.” The Pastor nodded at him so that he could begin.

“Spencer. You started out an awkward, shy young man. I often wondered what Jason had been thinking, then you started to ramble off all these statistics and all of this information that is stored, somehow, in your mind and I became fascinated. You slowly wormed your way into my heart without ever realizing it til much later. And I let you in, loved you with a passion that even scared me a little. Then life happened and we gave up what we had, what we meant to each other. Then when I was at my lowest point, drowning in too many emotions, too many outside forces breaking me apart, you were there, holding me up, giving me your everything.

“In my selfishness I took and as much as I gave back it wasn’t enough, then again when I thought I was losing everything, including my own mind, you were once again there and I understood in that moment that you had never left. Not really. You have always been there. I love you, Spencer and I promise this day forward that I will cherish you. I won’t ever hurt you intentionally, and I will never take you for granted. I will be proud to call you husband.”

Aaron reached up and gently wiped at Spencer’s eyes. He smiled and took Spencer’s hand once again.

“Aaron. You also have seen me at my worst, and at my best. You helped me through something I didn’t even want to admit to myself. You held me up and showed me that I could stand on my own. You give me everything of yourself, even when you were most silent. I let you get lost in me, while you worked to find yourself. Loving you has been the easiest thing I have ever done.

“Misunderstandings and secrets broke us apart, but we found our way back to each other, walking through that fire. You gave me, once again, all of yourself and you entrusted me with your child. You gave me a family, and that means more to me than anything else in the world. I love you Aaron, and I promise this day forward that I will cherish you, I won’t ever hurt you intentionally, and I will never take you for granted. I will be proud to call you husband.”

They turned just slightly to the Pastor who had bent down and taken the box from Henry. Each man took the rings out of the box and exchanged them, repeating the words the Pastor spoke.

“I now present you with Mr. and Dr. Reid-Hotchner. You may now kiss each other.”

Aaron felt his heart swell and spill over in how much he was feeling in that moment. He pulled Spencer to him, fisting his hand in Spencer’s hair as he pressed his lips to Spencer. Cheers went up in the hall, but Aaron didn’t even hear it. The kiss went on as Aaron poured every single bit of emotion he was feeling at the moment into the kiss. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to Spencer’s and took a deep breath as their family and friends cheered them on.

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you Aaron.”

Walking out hand in hand the newly married couple left the hall and walked across to the reception area where Dave had gone all out for them for food. He had fought Aaro on the privilege to cater it.

In an homage to both Spencer’s and Aaron’s hometown’s there was a full Virginia style barbecue lunch spread out Las Vegas style, including carving station, chilled seafood station, a line of salads, different vegetables like grilled corn on the cob, grilled squash, tomatoes and more. Foil wrapped potatoes, and sliced potatoes cooked on the grill. It was a veritable feast.

The meat station was pork ribs, chicken, a slow smoked pulled pork shoulder, prime rib, and some smoked hot links.

Open bar, with drinks celebrating both the flash of Vegas and the quiet southern style of Virginia.

After Aaron and Spencer sat down a waiter was there with drinks for both of them. Dave had said they wouldn’t need to get up for anything themselves and Aaron wondered if the waiter was going to be just for them. The former team came in and congratulated the couple with hugs all around.

“Dave, this looks amazing, but you didn’t have to.”

“Shut up, Hotchner and just enjoy. Don’t worry whatever is left will go to the Veterns home just like you asked.”

“Thank you, Dave.”

“Aaron, you and the kid have been through hell and back. This is a long time coming and I’m very happy for you.”

Aaron didn’t know what to say as Dave moved away from the table to go get himself some food.

After a few minutes, JJ and Will, Prentiss and Clyde, as well as Morgan and Savannah were there in front of the table.

“Why do you guys look like you’ve done something incredibly stupid and you’re now standing in front of the teacher?” Spencer looked between them, feeling very suspicious.

“I know you asked everyone to donate to the Self-Harm Recovery Group and Beltway Cops, and we did that. But, we, the six of us, wanted to do something special for you guys. Here, for you.” JJ handed them an envelope.

“Jayje, this is a four week cruise around Japan and then Hawaii.”

“Un huh. You guys deserve an awesome time away. We know you have a honeymoon planned, and we got that information from Dave. You see here? It starts the day after.”


“Jayje an’ I will take Jack. I know ya’ would want him to go, but we all agreed this should be a time fo’ jus’ the two of you.”

“I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Hotch, just say thank you and you and Pretty Boy here have the time of your life.” Morgan smiled as he wrapped an arm around Savannah.

Spencer and Aaron stood and hugged everyone, thanking them profusely.

“Daddy, you and Papa are now official?” Jack asked as he came over and climbed into Aaron’s lap.

“Yes, Buddy. You’re Papa and I are now official. We’re husbands, how does that make you feel?”

“I’m happy Dad because you and Papa are happy. You should always be happy if you love each other.”

Aaron looked at Spencer and smiled.

“And everyday with your Papa makes me happy Buddy.”

Spencer looked on the verge of tears as he held out his arms for Jack.

“I love you too, Jackers. And your Dad is right. Everyday that we are together makes me happy.”

“So we are a real family now?” Jack looked between his father’s, love, happiness and hope shone in those eyes that are so like his Dad’s.

“Well, we’ve been a family for a long time now, but yes, it is official.”

“Yay!” Jack shouted and jumped off Spencer’s lap who was laughing at the boy, almost a teen now, antics. He ran to Henry talking excitedly, then the two ran off, with Aaron and Spencer knowing they would get into some kind of mischief.

“Family.” Spencer looked at Aaron with the most beautiful smile on his face. Flashes went off taking pictures of that exact moment.

Disposable cameras had been put on every table for people to take pictures with. They would be put into a bucket when they ran out and developed by the photographer, as well as the pictures he took of the couple. Aaron and Spencer had not wanted the posed pictures of most weddings, they wanted fun, candid shots. They wanted something unique and special.

They also had a videographer which was getting as much as her could. Aaron and Spencer were going to go to Las Vegas for the first two days of their honeymoon to visit Spencer’s mother and show her the video. Spencer knew he was losing her a little at a time, but with Aaron’s help and some counseling of his own he was slowly letting go. It would be hard, but he would enjoy watching her watch the wedding, then later the reception. Spencer missed her greatly that day, but he knew he would make different memories with her and they would be just as special.

As the buffet was being broken down, the music got livelier and desserts were being brought out. Garcia had begged to be incharge of the dessert table and both men knew that this was one time that they could absolutely condone her going all out.

There were cupcakes, brownies, blondies, cookies, truffles, and all manner of sweets. Garcia had help and even rented time in a shared commercial kitchen. When it came to the wedding cake, Aaron and Spencer were going to be surprised.

“I think our friends…no, our family has gone all out on everything.” Aaron was feeling overwhelmed with love.

People danced, they drank, they had a good time. Speeches were given, some funny, some a little more serious, some sentimental, but they were all perfect. Then the moment arrived when Aaron pulled Spencer out on the dance floor for the groom and groom dance. All their friends stood around in a loose circle and the music played for them. It was some of Aaron’s favorite Beatles songs mixed with some of the classic Rat Pack songs that Spencer had grown-up with.

“I never thought this day would come, Spencer. There were so many days that I thought we would never be like this.” Aaron smiled as tears once again threatened to fall. “But, even when you left, you were still there for me, still wanting me even though I had hurt you. I have spent everyday since you rescued me making up for those months when the pain was too much and I kept my silence. I want to make everyday with you special.”

Spencer laid a hand on Aaron’s cheek as they danced around the floor, ignoring everyone around them as the air filled with the love the two men shared.

“Aaron, I knew what I was doing. I was only trying to help you and leaving, was the best thing to do at the time. But, no I never truly left. I love you so much and I always have. If it took us walking through the fires we’ve walked through to get to this point, it was worth it. It was worth it because it made us stronger, and it made us understand what we have. Everyday that you and Jack are in my life is special. Everything else is just the icing.”

Aaron pulled Spencer closer to him and wrapped around him as they swayed to the song. They were so caught up in each other that they had not realized when the music ended. There were cheers and tears and the two of them would always remember their special day.

We will live eternally in this mood of reverie away /from all the earthly cares around us/ My world was dull each minute until I found you in it/ And all at once the happiness I knew,Became these quiet nights of loving you!


Pulling up to the hotel next to the private airport where they would take a private jet, paid for by Dave, above Aaron’s protests, the two men got out, check into the hotel and made their way to the honeymoon suite. After tipping the baggage carrier, and shutting the door behind him, Aaron spun and had Spencer against the wall, kissing him with a hunger that had been slowly building all damn day.

“Fuck, Spencer. I need you, so much.” Aaron slid down his husband’s body, not even bothering to get out of his tux, then he was fumbling with first Spencer’s buckle, then the buttons on the dress pants. Finally he was able to push the trousers down along with his boxer briefs till Spencer’s already half hard cock sprang free.

There was no finesse, no going slow, Aaron needed to feel Spencer to touch, to taste and when his husband cried out and came down the back of Aaron’s throat he groaned as he kept the cock in his mouth till it softened.

“Shit, Aaron. That was amazing.”

Aaron chuckled as he stood and took Spencer’s mouth in a hard, heated kiss. Aaron stripped Spencer, not letting his husband do it himself, he then quickly stripped out of his own clothes not caring where they fell. Aaron backed Spencer up to the bed, and spread him out as Spencer fell down on it.

Lube was already there waiting and Aaron wasted no time in preparing Spencer, then his own, now aching cock. Taking a deep breath to slow it all down he looked at Spencer, then lifted his left hand and kissed the back of his ring finger.

“I still can’t believe your mine.” Aaron let the tears fall finally, letting that emotion out as he took in the wanton look of his husband.

“And you are mine, dear husband.” Spencer pulled on him till they were wrapped around each other holding on tight. The kisses were passionate as Aaron calmed the storm of emotions in side of him. Slowly he sat up once again and gently eased his throbbing cock inside Spencer.

He took it slow, aching to make love, to show Spencer just how much he was loved and wanted. After a few gentle thrusts, Aaron rolled them till he was on his back and Spencer was above him, slowly riding him, the two never breaking eye contact. Spencer was braced on his arms, while Aaron held his face gently in his hands. Words of love slipped form their lips as they rocked together, neither wanting it to end, making these feelings last.

When it all got too much, Aaron took over and thrust in and our harder and faster, quickly tipping the both of them over the edge and they came at the same time, with Spencer collapsing on top of Aaron, not caring at the moment about the mess they had made.

“Wow, I still can’t believe it, married.” Spencer was laying cheek side down on Aaron’s chest. He twined his left hand with Aaron’s and pulled their combined hands up to his face, kissing each knuckle and staring at the rings on their fingers. “Husband.” Spencer sighed as happiness washed through him.

Aaron held Spencer close to him and didn’t let go, not for anyone, or anything.

“Husband,” he kissed the top of Spencer’s head and buried his face against the soft curls. They would clean up in a moment, he just needed the love and strength of the man in his arms just a few moments longer.