Fear
Aaron came home after Kate left her letter with him. He didn’t blame her and if he had to admit it he was frightened for her. They almost didn’t get to Meg in time and that fear had gripped him. When he got home and he saw Spencer in bed cuddled up with Sarah Jane and Jack he knew his husband had been gripped with that same fear.
He walked into the bedroom, quickly changed into sweats, and sat up in bed. He pulled Sarah Jane into his lap.
“Papa,” She said sleepily.
“Hey baby,” He pulled her close and held her to him tightly. After a couple of minutes, Jack cuddled between his two fathers.
“Are you okay Papa?” Sarah wrapped her arms around Aaron’s waist and laid her head on his chest.
“No baby I’m not okay,” He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. All the fears that he ever had for his children came rushing back to him.
“Why? Was it why Daddy was crying?” She wiggled her body close to Aaron’s feeling warm and protected.
“Yes. Something very bad almost happened tonight and it made me think about you and Jack and how sad I would be if anything happened to you.” His arms came around her and held her tight.
“But Papa, Jack says you’re a superhero and you always get the bad people.” Sarah stifled a yawn as she was falling asleep against her father.
“Honey, I’m not a superhero, I’m just a man.” Tears wanted to leak out of his eyes at what could have been.
“Aaron, turn it off. Jack and Sasha are safe,” He bent over Jack and kissed his husband letting him know everything was okay.
November
The sky was clear but the air was cold. No matter how long Spencer had been in DC he still had not gotten used to the fall and winter chill. He had a coat wrapped around him and the purple scarf wrapped around his neck and he still felt the cold. But today he didn’t care. Today he was with those he loved sipping coffee at a little café. Aaron was across from him smiling sipping his own coffee.
“Spence, what put that look on your face,” Aaron reached across and took his husband’s hand.
“I’m just happy Aaron.” He smiled wide as he grabbed Aaron’s hand, “I’m happy we are here, together, and whole.”
“Spence-“ Aaron was going to say more when he was cut off.
“No, it’s okay Aaron. We had a tough year but we did it together.” He looked out at the skating rink watching Jack teach Sarah how to skate. “Look at them, they’re everything Aaron.” His smile broadened as he watched how patient Jack was.
“They are,” Aaron’s face lit up watching the two children. “Spencer,” He waited till he had his husband’s attention, “I love you.” He smiled broadly as Spencer smiled back.
“I love you too.” He moved around the table so they were sitting close together.
“Let’s have a big Thanksgiving. Let’s have everyone over, I feel like celebrating.”DreaSpencer’s eyes were glowing with the idea.
“Whatever you want,” Aaron smiled again as he leaned in and kissed his husband. “Thank you, Spencer, for everything.” He sighed and contentment settled in his heart.
“You are worth it Aaron Michael Reid-Hotchner,” Spencer said as he laid a gentle hand on his husband’s cheek, and his heart over-flowed with happiness.
Dread
The moment they found out Kate’s niece was missing dread settled in Aaron’s heart. When they figured out it was in retaliation for Kate’s investigation into the online human trafficking Aaron’s heart stopped in fear. He also had not stopped the investigation and he feared for his children.
Spencer saw him going through the Unit Chief motions but he could see the fear behind his eyes as well.
“Aaron, what’s wrong?” Spencer put a hand on his husband’s arm and made him look at him.
“Spence,” His voice was low as he didn’t want to scare the rest of the team, “I didn’t stop looking into this either.”
“Aaron, do you think Jack and Sarah Jane are in trouble?” Spencer looked at him as dread filled his own heart.
“I just sent Anderson and Michaels to Jessica’s house, just in case.” Aaron tried to reassure Spencer.
They went about the case, Kate needed them now, especially with how far along she was. They didn’t want the stress to cause anything bad to happen to her baby.
When they finally found Meg, it was almost too late. How close they came to losing her had gutted everyone on the team. Aaron and Spencer arrived at Jessica’s wrecked and she could see it in their faces. They had their go-bags in their hands and she knew they weren’t going anywhere.
Jessica offered them her bed, and she took Jack’s. Later when they were curled around their children in the large bed and knowing they were safe did they let their emotions out. A huge weight lifted off their hearts and the dread they had been living with for more than fifteen hours was slowly ebbing away.
Sir
He’s not sure when or how it happened but he and Spencer had a minor argument in the conference room while going over victimology and working the geographic profile together.
“Reid, back off now,” Aaron was upset that Spencer was being pushy. Neither of them knew how the fight started and Spencer was pushing all of Aaron’s buttons. They both knew it and Aaron wasn’t going to let it continue but everything changed when Spencer said two little words.
“Yes Sir,” Reid snarked back at Aaron. He was startled by the sudden surge of lust that showed in his husband’s eyes.
Aaron narrowed his eyes at Spencer and slowly, almost predatorily stalked over to the younger man, “What did you say?” His voice was a mixture of anger, excitement, and lust, definitely lust.
“I, I, I, said yes sir,” Reid’s breathing was shallow as he also felt a mixture of fear, excitement, and lust, oh most definitely lust. That look in Aaron’s eyes went straight to his groin. The two men stared at each other for a moment before Aaron walked over and locked the door then quickly stalked back to his husband.
He grabbed Spencer by the hair and pulled him in for a very passionate kiss. His arm snaked around the younger man’s waist as he pulled him into a rough and utterly obscene hug as he thrust hard against Spencer.
“Aaron,” Spencer barely got out before his mouth was ravished again and those strong, rough hands were in his hair once more.
“When we get back to the hotel, you,” Aaron whispered in Spencer’s ear, “Are,” he darted his tongue out and licked the outer shell making Spencer shiver, “Mine.” He nipped the sensitive flesh.
“Always,” He panted out, “Sir”.
Ties
Aaron was ravishing Spencer’s mouth in hot open-mouthed kisses. His tongue darted inside and when Spencer tried for a little dominance Aaron growled back at him. He then let his husband lead.
“Say it again Spencer,” Aaron commanded in his ear.
“Sir,” He panted breathlessly while his jaw and neck were being given nips and bites all along the way.
Aaron pulled off and Spencer whimpered at the loss of contact, but the downright feral look Aaron was giving him stopped him short. The older man went to the closet and pulled out their neckties. Aaron stalked back to the bed roughly grabbed Spencer’s wrists and tied each one to the openwork headboard. Spencer’s breath was short as he let his body be manipulated by his lover. Trust and love shone in his eyes.
Aaron was back and his legs were being shoved up towards his chest as two more ties were tied around each of his legs keeping them bent. Aaron’s cock filled quickly at the sight before him.
“Say it again,” In that same commanding tone.
“Sir, please,” Spencer begged, he was aching to have his husband inside him and before he knew what was happening he got his wish. Aaron was rough and he knew there would be bruises but with the pleasure coursing through him Spencer didn’t care. Pushing his legs even farther up Aaron slammed into his husband hard. He knew Spencer was close and all it took was for him to grab the base of his cock and shake. The orgasm slammed through them both at the same time.
“Sir, thank you, sir,” He whimpered as Aaron slowly untied him.
“Always for you,” Aaron pulled his husband close after cleaning them both up, “Mine.” He sighed as held his love in his arms.
Sentinels
Spencer fell asleep watching one of his favorite cult shows after reading a few fanfiction stories. It was one he had to pirate because it still wasn’t available on DVD anywhere. He was drifting off listening to Blair explain to Jim about spirit animals.
“Spencer,” Aaron walked up to him and engulfed him in his arms. The tiger came out and weaved its way around their legs as they held each other close, “Guide,” Aaron breathed in his ear as his tongue slowly circled around the shell.
Spencer arched into his lover, his head thrown back, “My Sentinel,” Slipped from his lips. When Aaron’s lips finally found him they kissed with passionate, almost obscene open-mouthed kisses Spencer didn’t think it could get any better. An owl came to perch on the head of the tiger and the two animals sat down near the couple.
Aaron laid his Guide out on the bed after having divested him of his clothes. He slowly and carefully mapped out his Guides body onto his senses, gutting himself on every aspect of the beautiful genius.
Spencer let his empathy flow from him and latch onto his lover, the bond was immediate. A flash of light and heat moved between them, then settled as Sentinel took his Guide into himself and Guide took his Sentinel. They each knew this was permanent, they would always be a part of each other no matter what. After the intense bonding, they lay cradled in each other’s arms.
“Spence,” Aaron gently shook his husband awake, “Spence, let’s go to bed.”
Spencer was only partially awake as Aaron helped him into their room.
“My Sentinel,” Spencer said softly as he burrowed his head against Aaron’s shoulder.
Aaron shook his head, “No more fanfiction for you before bed.”
Ships
Spencer finally got Aaron to sit down and watch Sherlock with him. It wasn’t that Aaron didn’t want to watch the show, it was just that there were times that Moriarty reminded him a little too much of Foyet and Breitkopf. However, for Spencer, he would give the show a go. About halfway through season one, he found himself hooked. He was watching intently when Spencer shouted gleefully.
“I so ship them,” His eyes sparkled as he watched the interaction of John and Sherlock.
Aaron furrowed his brow and quirked up his lips as he turned to his husband, “What?” His amused confusion was clearly written on his face.
“John and Sherlock, I so ship them together, I mean just watching their interactions you can clearly see that the two men care for each other much deeper than they let on. The way they lean in together, the sarcastic playful attitude on Sherlock’s part. Definitely unrequited love,” Spencer kept watching with a small smile on his face.
“You know you just profiled fictional characters, right?” Aaron couldn’t help to keep the teasing tone out of his voice.
Spencer blushed deeply as he looked at Aaron, “Can’t help it. They remind me a little of us.”
“Oh? And I suppose you are Sherlock in this relationship?” Aaron kept up the teasing.
“Of course, and you, my handsome husband are John Watson,” Spencer smiled wide as he turned and attacked Aaron pushing him onto the couch, kissing him deeply, “Shy, quiet, better at computers than he lets one, smarter than he lets on and would do anything in the world to protect me.” Spencer swallowed hard as his
expression turned serious.
“Spence,” Aaron held Spencer close, “I love you.”
“I love you too Aaron.” The TV show, now all but forgotten.
Sick
Aaron got the phone call while he was knee-deep in reports, “Mr. Reid-Hotchner, this is Ms. Stiles, I’m the nurse at your son Jack’s school. I’m afraid Jack has been throwing up and he’s running a fever. We’re going to have to ask you to come and pick him up.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in half an hour,” He didn’t even hesitate as he grabbed a stack of files and shoved them into his briefcase. Running down the stairs he stopped at Spencer’s desk, “Jack’s school just called, he’s been throwing up and running a fever. They want me to come to get him. I’ll get him settled then come back to pick you up later.” He wanted to kiss his husband but they had promised discretion when at work.
Spencer wrapped a hand around Aaron’s wrist, “Aaron, this is the fourth time,” He looked deeply concerned.
“I know. I’m going to go take care of him,” Aaron frowned as he started to walk away. Spencer pulled him back.
“I’ll have Dave bring me home, you take care of Jack,” He leaned in and kissed Aaron’s cheek.
“Okay,” Aaron reluctantly let go of his husband’s hand and ran out of the office and to his car as quickly as he could.
After picking Jack up then getting home he put his son to bed. Checking his temperature once again Aaron got a reading of 102. Picking him up Aaron grabbed his keys then called Jessica to have her watch Sarah Jane. He rushed out the door and to the emergency room. After about forty minutes Spencer was running in with Dave right behind.
“What’s going on Aaron?”
“I don’t know, they are running tests,” The fear in Aaron’s eyes had Spencer wrapping his arms around his husband holding him close.
Waiting
“Mr. Reid-Hotchner?” Aaron and Spencer immediately stood and walked to the doctor that had come into the waiting room.
“I’m Doctor Stevens, I would like to ask you some quick questions if you wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course, anything,” Aaron was fighting the urge to shake the doctor to just give him some answers.
“Mr. Reid-Hotchner, has your son had strep recently?”
Aaron frowned wondering why the doctor would ask that, “Um, yes, why? Is that important?”
“It could be. We are waiting for the blood tests to come back. Another question, has Jack complained of any other symptoms?”
“Yes, he’s had a really bad headache for the last eight days,” Spencer told the doctor.
“Spencer, why didn’t you tell me?” Aaron looked over at his husband.
“Jack didn’t want you to worry Aaron. He asked me not to tell you right away,” Spencer grabbed Aaron’s hand and interlaced their fingers together.
“Mr. and Mr. Reid-Hotchner, depending on the results of a blood test, there is a possibility that we may have to do a spinal tap. Of course, the two of you can be in the room the whole time.”
“Dr. Stevens, what aren’t you telling us?” Spencer frowned and narrowed his eyes as he watched the doctor.
“Look, I don’t want to say too much yet and I don’t want to worry you unnecessarily. Let me get the initial blood test back then we can go from there, okay?” The doctor tried to reassure the very worried parents. “I should have some more information soon, but I can take you to your son now if you’d like.”
“Yes, of course.” They entered a small room with a sleeping Jack and Aaron collapsed in a chair holding his son’s hand tightly sending up a prayer that he’ll be okay.
Testing
It seemed like the testing was taking forever. Aaron and Spencer were given leave from the Bureau so they could be with Jack. The blood tests had come back inconclusive. But they got a lucky break in that Jack’s fever broke and the antibiotics were helping. He was still sleeping a lot and that more than anything was what was worrying the Doctor.
Aaron and Spencer were on either side of the bed watching the boy sleep when Doctor Stevens entered the room and asked to speak with them privately. They reluctantly followed him back to his office.
“Mr.’s Reid-Hotchner, what I believe your son has is Viral Meningitis. His treatment at this point has been tailored for the disease and he is showing signs of progress. But, with your permission, I’d like to go ahead with the spinal tap. I know it’s an aggressive test but it will also give us an indisputable diagnosis.”
Aaron took a deep breath and thought about it for a few long moments. He had read all of the materials the hospital provided on the procedure and Spencer had gone over it with him as well. He knew the risks but his son was suffering and if it gave them what they needed then he would agree to the test.
“And we can be there?”
“Of course, we encourage the parents to be there. You’ll have to wear scrubs and gloves on your hands but it’ll keep him calm. I know this is invasive and I wouldn’t even suggest it if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”
“Then do it.” Aaron felt his hand being squeezed by Spencer’s and he closed his eyes hoping the test gave them some answers. He hated the idea of putting Jack through this and nothing was to come of it.
Diagnosis
Aaron and Spencer were once again situated in Doctor Steven’s office. He had the test results of the spinal tap which he had rushed through given the serious nature of Jack’s condition.
“Mr.’s Reid-Hotchner, I do have the results of the test and they confirmed my suspicion. Jack has Viral Meningitis. I’ve adjusted his medication and hopefully, we will see results soon.”
“What does this mean for him, Doctor?”
“Well, he’s lucky that this is the viral form of Meningitis. It’s easier to treat though it will be a long recovery time for him. If it had been bacterial, we may be having a different conversation but I don’t want you to worry about that. Right now we all just need to focus on his recovery at this point.”
Spencer could tell that Aaron was at his emotional limit when he squeezed his shaking hand. He knew exactly where Aaron’s thoughts went. After they talked with the Doctor about Jack’s recovery plan the two men were standing just outside of Jack’s room. Spencer took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Aaron.
“Call him.”
Aaron didn’t need to know who Spencer was talking about but he didn’t want to bother Seeley at the moment.
“This isn’t up for debate Aaron. Your hands are shaking and you are sweating. I know the signs well, trust me. Call him.”
Aaron wanted to refuse, to glare at his husband and stand his ground but he knew he was on the verge and though Spencer could help him through it his own sponsor was the better of the two. He had a son and would understand.
“Booth,” Seeley answered when Aaron finally made the phone call.
“Seeley, can we talk?” Aaron asked as he stood there shaking wanting a drink.
Seeley
Aaron met Seeley at a small diner next to the hospital. He didn’t want to leave at first but he knew he needed to talk to someone other than Spencer. He loved his husband but he was just as emotionally compromised and Aaron had a feeling Spencer was making a very similar phone call while he was gone.
“Hotch. I’m glad you called. What’s going on?’
Aaron sat back in the booth and took a long drink of his coffee. He couldn’t quite keep the shaking under control. He knew Seeley noticed but appreciated the fact he didn’t point it out.
“It’s Jack.” He took a deep breath then told Booth what was going on.
“God, Aaron I’m so sorry.” Booth thought of Parker and Christine and knew he would feel just as emotionally on edge as Aaron was.
Aaron swallowed hard hating his weakness. “I haven’t had a drink but…” He frowns as he looks down at the table.
“You want one. In this situation, it’s more than understandable. Hotch, you’ve done good, don’t blow it now. Why don’t we take a walk?” Booth stood and threw some money on the counter as he started towards the door with Aaron following.
For about an hour they took a walk talking. Booth told Aaron all the new things happening with Christine and his own regrets over the things he missed with Parker.
Aaron felt himself settling. Just talking about their children helped a great deal. He didn’t feel that overwhelming need and he knew he could get through this day.
“Hotch, if you need anything just call anytime and I’ll answer. You aren’t alone in this, don’t forget that.”
“Thank you, Seeley. For everything.” He shook the man’s hand as they parted ways outside the hospital.
Home
Jack started to recover much faster after the diagnosis. After two weeks Aaron and Spencer were finally able to take him home.
“I’m tired, Dad.” Aaron heard the frustration in his son’s voice and felt for him.
“I know buddy. But remember what Doctor Steven’s said? It’s going to be a while before you’re back to being able to do more. Spencer and I have a couple more weeks off work so we can be home with you.”
“You don’t have to Dad. I’m fine with Aunt Jess.”
“I know buddy but Spencer and I will be able to do our jobs a lot better if we know you are going to be okay.”
“Daddy?” Aaron sat next to Jack on his bed holding him close.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“I was scared.” Jack bit his lip as he leaned against Aaron hugging his father close like he used to do when he was younger.
“I know Jack. Can I tell you something?”
Jack looked up with wide eyes, “What?”
“I was scared too. So was your Papa. We didn’t know what to do. But, you’re better and we’ll be here for you. I love you, Jack.”
“I love you too Dad.” Jack snuggled down in bed and fell asleep. Aaron moved into his room collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes. Soon he felt the bed dip and felt Spencer wrapping around him.
“He’s going to be fine,” Aaron said more confidently than he felt in weeks.
“Of course he is. He’s a Hotchner.” Spencer kissed Aaron as they comforted each other.
Later that night they checked on Jack. Sarah Jane had curled herself around her brother and was holding him close.
“Thank you for being okay Jackers.” Aaron heard her whisper and he couldn’t agree with her more.
Needs
Jessica agreed to take Jack to his Doctor’s appointment. She actually insisted on it. She wanted to give Aaron and Spencer a break because she noticed how exhausted and how frayed their nerves were.
“Need you,” Aaron whispered as he had Spencer backed against the wall kissing him hard, biting his neck, gripping his hips tight.
“You have me, Sir.” Spencer practically moaned at what Aaron was doing to him. They both needed this, needed it rough and hard.
Aaron growled low in his throat as he commanded Spencer to get on his knees and suck his now very hard erection.
Spencer eagerly complied.
“Fuck,” Aaron practically yelled as the warm, wet mouth wrapped around him and all thoughts of the last tense weeks flew right out of his head. When he felt himself too close he tapped Spencer on the shoulder. “Bed, now.”
Spencer slowly stood, then kissed Aaron before sprawling almost obscenely on the bed.
“God Spencer. So beautiful.” Aaron slowly crawled on top of him and took his mouth in sensual almost bruising kisses. It didn’t take long to prepare his husband then he was slipping into that glorious heat that he never tired of. He thought he had wanted rough and hard but when Spencer wrapped arms and legs around him, holding him, trapping him the need to take it slow, to make love overwhelmed him. It was long, slow strokes, sensual kisses, soft words of love, and praises. He thought to undo Spencer with his lovemaking, but it was him that was breaking apart above his lover, husband, and best friend. He felt raw and exposed. He was laid bare as tears leaked from his eyes as he came buried deep in Spencer. He was held tight as he allowed himself to break apart.
Strength
Aaron and Spencer were both amazed every day at just how strong their son was. He was quickly getting better with the regimen that the Doctor prescribed for him. By the time they both had to be back to work Jack was almost ready to go back to school.
Aaron was in his office when Rossi came in and handed him an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“It’s something that I think you and your family need.”
Aaron opened it and saw open-ended plane tickets to Italy.
“Dave I can’t take these.”
“Yes you can and I will not take no for an answer. When you can, take the time to reconnect with your family Aaron. After everything you’ve been through lately, you need it.”
Aaron took a deep breath as he set the envelope aside trying to find the words to say to Dave to express just what it means to him that he cares so deeply for them.
“Thank you, Dave.” He sat back and put his pen down a moment. “You know I always knew my son was strong but I took it for granted. These last weeks showed me just how strong he is. Do you know he hardly flinched at all when they did the spinal tap? He grabbed my hand and held on to it tightly but he didn’t cry once.”
“He learned from you.” Dave smiled as Aaron shook his head. “Aaron he’s strong because you’ve shown him how to be strong. When you are home, you give him everything he needs.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel that strong.” Aaron hadn’t wanted to admit that, it just slipped out.
“Everything you’ve gone through and come back from? He sees that Aaron and you are his hero. Always believe that.”
Hearing
When Aaron and Jack left the Audiologist’s office they went to the local ice cream shop. Jack was quiet and Aaron knew he needed to reassure his son that everything was going to be okay.
After ordering they sat down and Aaron just watched Jack for a moment before he spoke.
“Jack, are you okay?”
“Dad, what if the other kids make fun of me?” Jack looked down in his ice cream and was just moving it around with his spoon not eating.
“Jack, I won’t lie there maybe those that tease you but remember what the Doctor showed us? The hearing aids will be small and clear. Unless they were standing next to you they most likely won’t notice. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone Jack. If you want to keep this to yourself, you can.” Aaron knew how hard it was going to be for Jack at first to adjust to the hearing loss. The illness had left him with thirty percent loss in one ear and twenty in the other. The Doctor explained that it was better to have the hearing aids fitted now and there was always the possibility of improvement if Jack did everything he was told.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
Jack frowned and his shoulders slumped a little, “Will Papa still love me?”
“Jack, there is nothing that would make your Papa not love you. He will always love you no matter what happens. Just like I will always love you.”
“Can I still play Soccer?”
Aaron smiled as he took out the catalog given to him by the Doctor. He showed Jack the sports band made especially for hearing-impaired athletes.
“Jack, nothing is going to change. You just have to do things differently.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“Okay.” Aaron wondered at Jack’s endless resilience.
Sister
“Sarah, where did you hide my hearing aids?” Jack yelled as he left his room in search of them.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sarah said defiantly.
“SJ I need them, you know that.”
She scowled at her brother as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t like them.” She stomped her foot for emphasis.
“Well they aren’t yours and if they get lost Dad and Papa will get mad at me and not you. Now give them back.” Jack stood with his hand out waiting for her to comply.
“No.” She ran into her room and slammed the door.
“DAD,” Jack yelled losing patience with Sarah Jane.
Aaron came up the stairs to see what was going on. “Jack, what’s wrong?”
“Sarah has my hearing aids and won’t give them back.”
Aaron knew Sarah was having a hard time with the changes in Jack.
Knocking on her door he called out, “Sarah, open the door and talk to me, sweetheart.”
A moment later the door opened and Aaron went inside and sat down on Sarah’s bed.
“Why did you take them?” Aaron asked her gently thinking he knew what was wrong.
“I just want Jack like he was.”
“Honey, he’s just changed a little and you are going to have to learn to live with this.”
“But I don’t want things to change.” Sarah cried as she buried her face in Aaron’s side.
“I know honey but don’t you think it’s more difficult for Jack? He has a lot more adjusting than we do.”
Sarah reluctantly stood and fished the hearing aids out of her nightstand.
“I’m sorry Jackers,” she whispered softly as she handed him the aids.
“It’s okay, I understand.” Jack hugged her tight letting her know he still loved her.
Cases
Aaron was leaning back on the couch reading with Spencer was stretched out on top of him. He was reading through a proof that his friend Charlie Epps had sent him to look over. It was a Ph.D. student and Charlie wanted fresh eyes on it to make sure the math and the conclusion were correct. This prompted Spencer to look back on his years as a college student and the course his life had taken. He put the proof down and turned his head up to look up at Aaron.
“Do you think it’s all worth it Aaron?”
Aaron saved his place in his book and set it aside. “What do you mean Pen?”
“What we do, what we see almost every day.”
“I’d like to think it is. I know we ultimately save lives. I look at us and our family and know that it’s a little bit safer place for them.”
Spencer snuggled back into Aaron contemplating the cases they had worked over the years and came to the conclusion that Aaron might be right.
“Where’s this coming from Spencer?” Aaron knew that several years earlier Spencer had a crises moment where he felt he no longer belonged in the BAU. That he should accept one of the offers that still came his way. But he didn’t, he stayed and Aaron sometimes wondered why.
“This proof that Charlie sent me. This kid is only sixteen and well on his way to his own Ph.D.” Spencer sighed as he grabbed one of Aaron’s hands.
“Spencer, do you want a change? Do you need to do something different?”
Spencer thought about it for a while as he looked through the proof. He smiled to himself, “No. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Entropy
Aaron sat down on the swing next to Spencer and didn’t say anything, he would let Spencer take the lead.
“If you’re upset I didn’t say anything I’m sorry but I didn’t want you to know.”
Aaron took a deep breath as he looked over at his husband, “Why?”
“Why? You have to ask me that Aaron? With what you and Jessica are going through with Roy did you really think I would burden you with this?” Spencer turned his face to the side not wanting to see his husband’s face.
“Spencer your mother has never been a burden.”
“I’m not talking about my mother.” He said softly as he stood and walked away.
Aaron got up and walked to Spencer. He engulfed his husband in his arms, carding his fingers through Spencer’s hair he felt the silent sobs coming from the younger man.
“Spencer, there is no guarantee that the same thing will happen to you. I’m not going to leave you Spencer and you will never be a burden.”
Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron and wanted to be angry that he knew about his mother but he couldn’t bring himself to be. He felt comforted and loved.
“I’m scared Aaron. I’m scared of losing my mind, losing what makes me so much of who I am.”
“I know love, I know but you should also know you have people who love you and will always be there for you.”
Spencer pulled away and wiped his eyes holding onto the warmth and comfort that had wrapped around him as much as Aaron’s arms had.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I know. It’s okay Spencer.” Aaron leaned in and kissed Spencer softly. “I’m always here for you love.”
“I know. Thank you, Aaron.”
Italy
Aaron and Spencer stood on the edge of the Amalfi coast watching the gentle waves. They had just enjoyed a light early evening meal and decided to take a walk. Hand in hand they took in the beauty around them and let go of many of the fears and worries that had built up over the year.
“We had a difficult year, didn’t we Aaron?”
“We did, but I’d like to think we got through it together.”
Spencer turned into Aaron’s arms, the light early evening breeze blowing in his hair he pulled his husband to him and kissed him slowly, almost obscenely. “I love you.”
“I love you to Spencer.” Aaron smiled one of his rare dimple-showing smile as he brushed his hand across Spencer’s cheek.
“You think the kids are making Jessica crazy?” Spencer laid his head on Aaron’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist.
“They were pretty tired before we left the hotel. I think you wore them out taking them on the walking tour of the town. Though Jack was thrilled with all of the history you learned just for him.”
Spencer couldn’t help smiling because he was always amazed by how much Jack liked for him to talk and talk about history. Sarah Jane was just happy to be with her brother and father.
Aaron and Spencer made their way back to their hotel, entered their bedroom, and locked the door.
“I want you Spencer, god I always want you,” Aaron said as he buried his hands in his husband’s hair and ravished his mouth before slowly undressing him.
“You have me, Aaron, now and always.” Aaron spread him out on the bed and proceeded to make the genius fall completely apart.
“Always and forever Spencer.”
“Always and forever Aaron.”