“Shit,” Harry moaned as Jade swallowed him down once more. He had never had a blow job before, not even with Edie. She had told him early on that she wasn’t partial to that particular act and Harry never wanted her to do anything she didn’t like. 

Jade was a different creature altogether. Almost before they were naked, he was mouthing at Harry’s still covered cock. Harry fisted his hands in his sheets, trying very hard not to come yet. It felt just too good.

“You look absolutely adorable, Harrison.” Jade pulled off of Harry’s cock and started to gently bite and suck marks onto Harry’s stomach and chest as he crawled up till he was laying on top of Harry, slotting in between Harry’s legs.

Harry gripped the back of Jade’s neck and pulled him down to kiss him. This time it wasn’t slow, and it wasn’t soft, it was messy and very erotic. Tongues stroked against each other, then explored the inside of each other’s mouths. Teeth clicked by accident and Jade chuckled at the not so elegant passion Harry was showing Jade. 

Pulling back, Jade placed both hands on the bed on either side of Harry’s chest. He levered himself up and looked down at Harry’s face. 

“What do you want, Harrison?”

Harry swallowed. He wasn’t sure what he wanted.

“I..” Feeling the rush of heat to his face, Harry gripped Jade’s arms as Jade kept gently thrusting against Harry’s groin. “I don’t know. I’ve never actually gotten this far with a guy before.”

Jade sat back on his heels and Harry almost whined at the loss of contact against his cock. 

“So, you’re a bit of a virgin then?” Jade started to slowly stroke Harry’s erect cock.

“I guess? I mean, I’ve had sex, just, ah, you know…”

“Girls?”

“Yes. Does that matter?”

“Not to me. There are lots of things we can do. But, just so you know I am a very greedy bottom and I’d very much like your cock inside my ass.”

“Fuck, Jade. You can’t talk like that.”

“Why not? It’s true. I’m not going to hide, Harrison. I hid for too long before I found the courage to be who I am. It wasn’t easy for me to come out. But, since I did find the courage, Margaret was a big help in that, I’ve finally been able to be comfortable in my own skin.”

Harry pushed himself up and kissed Jade. He had felt a connection to his fellow chef and after months of working together, Jade cooking for him, or helping at night, and dates after shifts, Harry was happy. Jade made him happy. He wasn’t in love, but he enjoyed the other man’s company so much that Harry felt that he could eventually fall in love. Of course, that was fraught with problems because Harrison Black was who Harry was striving to become. Harry Potter was still a bit of a mess. But here and now, he could give Jade something of himself. Something significant to show the other man his feelings. 

“I want to try, but I’m a little unsure of what to do.”

Jade chuckled and gently pushed Harry back down on the bed. 

“What’s the saying? Lie back and think of England?” Jade laughed at the look on Harry’s face. Harry sat up enough to be able to smack Jade on the ass for his cheek. 

“Be careful Harrison, I just might want more of that.”

“Jesus Christ, Jade.”

“Hmm, not him, not by a longshot.” 

Harry laughed and pulled Jade back down giving him playful open-mouthed kisses. He was finding that he rather liked playing in bed like this. Then he forgot all speech by the way Jade was touching him, getting him hard once more. A condom was quickly rolled over his erection, then some lube and Harry just lifted an eyebrow. 

“More for me than you, love.” Jade’s wicked grin had Harry paying more attention as Jade grabbed his cock, then slowly started to lower himself. Harry again was gripping the sheets and breathing hard and fast as Jade lowered himself down. 

“Fuck,” Harry exclaimed. He had never felt anything so tight around his cock before and it took him a few breaths to hold back. Then, Jade leaned forward a little, gripping Harry’s shoulder with one hand, while the other was on Harry’s waist. 

“Come on, handsome. Fuck me.” 

Harry groaned in the back of his throat as he thrust up harder than he meant to the first time, but by the noise Jade made, Harry figured it had felt good, so he did it again, then again. They were awkward and a little uncoordinated at first, but with Jade’s guidance, Harry had his hands gripping Jade’s hips, and his feet planted on the bed, using his legs for leverage as he thrust up over and over again. 

“Oh, yeah that’s it, Harrison, right there, oh shit, right there.” 

Harry smiled as his eyes rolled back a little. He was close, so very close.

“Jade, I can’t hold on.”

“You don’t have to. Come when you want, Harrison.”

Jade was meeting Harry thrust for thrust. It was only a couple of moments later when Harry knew he could no longer hold back and he grunted, then moaned as he came in the condom. Biting his lip, he took Jade’s cock in his hand and started to jerk him off using his own knowledge of what he liked and did that same thing to Jade trusting the man would tell him if he didn’t like it.

“Yeah, just like that, oh fuck that feels good.” Jade smiled as Harry watched his face, seeing the pleasure there, Harry doubled his efforts and was rewarded when Jade cried out and striped Harry’s stomach with his release. Breathing hard, Jade gave a little laugh, then leaned down, not caring he was getting himself dirty with his own come, he gave Harry a very heady kiss. 

“Just going to clean up in the loo.” Jade easily pulled off Harry and walked to the bathroom. Laying back on the bed, Harry took stock of himself and didn’t feel any different than when he and Edie had sex. It had felt wonderful. He wasn’t quite sure, though, if he was ready to be penetrated. He knew how intimate it could be, and Harry wanted to be emotionally ready for that. The magic deep inside him stirred a little, and Harry knew he needed to either do something about it now or go see Luna and Neville in the next couple of days. Maybe go flying for a bit to help him expend before he started not sleeping again. 

Lost in thought, he didn’t feel Jade cleaning him up at first, but the warmth of the wet flannel on his skin had him watching Jade take care of him. 

“Hmm, I think we need to sleep. You can stay if you want.”

Edie had only stayed with him on occasion and Harry kind of missed sharing with someone.

Jade dropped his clothes and crawled into bed next to Harry. It took the two men more than a few minutes to find a position that was comfortable for both of them.

“Are you okay, Harrison?” The concern in Jade’s voice had Harry turning to face his lover.

“I’m fine, Jade. That felt wonderful.”

Jade smiled then pulled Harry close and kissed the back of his neck. Another night that Harry didn’t need to watch the stars.

______________

“2 risottos, 2 mixto fritos, three pear salads.”

“Yes, Chef.”

“Time?”

“Three minutes for risottos.”

“Five for mixtos.”

“Two for salads, Chef.” Harry had been on cold appetizers for a couple of months and found he liked it. There wasn’t much cooking yet, but he got lost in the preparation, enjoyed the chaos of service, and felt a sense of pride seeing his food go out the dining room. He finished his salads and saw another server come in with orders. After dropping off his apps, he went back to his station to tidy up.

“Alright, we have an order for pork chops all day, two barramundis, and one of the pesto carbonara.”

“Yes, Chef.” The brigade once more called out. 

Harry started to get his sides ready for the barramundi and set them aside for the chef who was working at the fish station. Grabbing the fresh pesto he had made just that morning he took a quick taste to make sure the olive oil had not absorbed too much. He portioned out the sauce and handed it over to the chef on the pasta station. When that was done, he prepared the beet and goat cheese salad that went with the pork chops. 

Harry felt in his element. The other chefs all worked as a team to get the food out and made sure every plate was the right temperature and delicious. 

The second dinner service was winding down, and Harry cleaned up the cold station then moved to desserts, ready for the callouts. He pulled out that evenings offerings, an American Cheesecake with a sweetened sour cream topping, treacle tart with a fresh fruit compote, brioche bread pudding with a creme en glace, and a flourless chocolate cake with a hint of coffee and chili with homemade vanilla bean gelato. 

The other chefs were cleaning up their stations, and helping out where they could. When all of the desserts were gone, Harry pulled the different pastries and filled the cases for the late, late crowd. 

“Good job, Harrison.” His fellow chefs patted him on the back or thanked him for his help during prep. There was a camaraderie in the kitchen he had only felt before on the Quidditch Pitch. This, though, seemed more satisfying in a way that Quidditch hadn’t. He was part of a team, one that all had an actual purpose.

He was sitting back and sipping some coffee because Margaret wanted to talk to him before he left for the night. He had to be back early to get the mornings’ offerings done. He was ahead of the game having prepped double and triple batches of doughs that were currently in one of the large fridges waiting for them to be rolled out into the things customers had come to expect from the restaurant.

“Ah, Harrison. Thank you for staying, I know how tired you must be. I wanted to see if you would like to move up in the brigade. Brian had been offered a new position at another restaurant and will be leaving us in a couple of weeks. He is willing to stay to train.”

“You want me on the meat station?”

“Yes. He’s told me you’ve jumped in when we get slammed and have a knack for knowing just when things are perfectly done. I want to try you on a couple of services and see what you can do.”

Harry blushed and sipped his coffee, taking his time to ponder the change. This was a big step. He had already done pasta, fish, veg, and cold apps, he had a feeling that Margaret was working him towards saucier. 

“All right. I’m willing to give it a go.”

“Good. Next service that you work, we’ll try it out.”

“Thank you, chef.”

“No, thank you, Harrison. You are turning into a remarkable chef. Now, off to home with you.”

Harry went to his locker and pulled off his chef’s coat, and pulled on his jacket. Grabbing the bag he had in there, Harry made his way to his flat pondering his life. It was so different than anything he had envisioned for himself, but he felt a sense of satisfaction he had never really felt before, except when he made his first Patronus. Sensing that one of his moods was descending on him, Harry rushed home to write out what was going on in his head. He knew Tony was going to ask.

___________________

“Let’s talk about Dumbledore. We only touched on him before, but I’d like today to explore more in-depth your issues with him.”

Harry groaned as he curled his legs under him on the couch.

“What do you want to know?” Harry glanced down at the space made between his legs as he thought of the deceased headmaster.

“You write a lot about him in your journal. Things you haven’t voiced yet. Dumbledore has been a sensitive issue for you and I’ve let you avoid it up to now. But, I can’t do that any longer.”

“Why not?” Harry really didn’t want to delve into the complex relationship he had with Dumbledore before he had died. 

“Because it’s weighing heavy on you, Harry.”

“What if I don’t want to deal with it? Why can’t he just stay in the past?”

“You tell me, why.”

Harry looked angry at Tony’s words. Normally the man didn’t push as hard. Harry shoved off the couch like he often did when the subject was something that was difficult for him to deal with. He started pacing and tried to rally his thoughts.

“He isn’t, is he?”

“What?” Harry felt Tony watching him pace.

“In the past.”

“No, he isn’t. Tell me what has you upset, Harry.”

“Where do I start? The fact that he was supposed to be my Magical guardian and never explained anything to me? Or that I was thrust into the Magical world with absolutely no knowledge of what the hell I was doing? And how about how he knew all this shit was happening to me and he never once helped me.”

“That’s what you are angriest about, isn’t it?”

“Yes, dammit. He had the power to get me out of the hell I was growing up in and he did absolutely nothing. He never even tried and then, then he made me go back there every goddamned year. He never cared about what was happening to me. Not once.”

“Why do you think he did those things?”

“I don’t know,” Harry yelled and fisted his hands in his hair, his heart hammering hard against his chest as he paced. Emotions came on fast, the most prevalent was anger.

“I think you do know, Harry. I think you know and I think it’s the source of your nightmares. What do you think Dumbledore’s agenda was?”

“I…” Harry was going to again say that he didn’t know, but Tony was right, the truth was buried deep down inside him and he had refused to look at it. “The old goat fucker wanted me to sacrifice myself, didn’t he?”

“Only you can answer that question, Harry.”

“Why didn’t I see it till it was too late?”

“Because sometimes those we look up to as heroes make us believe in them. We look to them for answers and guidance and choose not to see the flaws and the manipulation.”

Harry flopped back on the couch and slouched down. He had known it, especially after the third year when Sirius had broken out of Azkaban and he found out that Sirius never had a trial. 

“Sirius never had a trial. Dumbledore let Crouch do whatever the fuck he wanted and that bastard put people in prison that were innocent. It was too late to save Sirius and a part of me wonders if Dumbledore was partially responsible.”

“Harry, I really believe you need to have your parents will read. I know it won’t erase your past, but I really think that you can get some of these answers that keep you up at night.”

Harry sighed and knew Tony was right. He didn’t want to go alone. He was going to ask Neville to go with him when he saw him over the weekend.

“That stupid prophecy. Dumbledore kept it from me for a long time. He left a damned Horcrux in my head and let me suffer. How do I let that go, Tony? How do I ever forgive him?”

“You may never be able to forgive him, but in time you’ll be able to let some of that go.”

Harry wanted to believe Tony. He really did, but there were days that Dumbledore’s manipulations of him had him waking up in a sweat from the dreams he was still having.

______________

Harry was cleaning up after the tables he used for his baking when Jade came in like he normally did at that time of the early morning. Harry felt something off, though, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he gave himself some time to get his head together before he acknowledged the man.

“Hey,” Harry smiled as he turned around and walked over to where Jade was standing. 

“Hey.”

“All right, what is it?”

Jade looked down at the floor as he crossed his feet.

“I’ve been offered an amazing opportunity. A guy was in here a few nights ago and wanted to meet me. I was on pasta because Henderson didn’t come in. He wants me for his restaurant. Head Chef. He was impressed by how I had kept the kitchen running while shorthanded. Margaret had to be out front because Tilly was slammed.”

“That’s amazing. Are you going to accept?”

Jade nodded, then looked up at Harry.

“It’s in Italy, Harry. He wants me for one of his restaurants in Italy.”

“Oh.” Harry moved to stand right in front of his lover, then he wrapped his arms around Jade and sighed.

“You could come with me.” Jade kissed Harry’s forehead and held him close.

“I can’t speak Italian.”

Jade turned Harry to look at him. “I can teach you, easily.”

“Where would we live? Where would I work?”

“Harry, you could work wherever you wanted. You are extraordinary and don’t tell anyone else, but I think you are a brilliant chef. You’d have them lining up practically begging you to work for them. As to where we would live, the chef hiring me gave me a few addresses.”

Harry signed as he leaned against one of the tables facing Jade.

“I don’t know.”

Jade stood fully and wrapped his hands around Harry’s arms looking at him with such hope that Harry hated the fact that he was going to turn him down. 

“Harrison, this could be brill for both of us. I think we would have a cracking good time together. If you haven’t figured out by now, I more than like you, Harrison. I care for you like I haven’t anyone else.”

Harry thought about it, but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave Teddy and the life that he had found for himself. 

“No. I can’t. I have too much here, Jade.”

Jade let out a soft laugh, but it held no mirth. He pulled Harry back into his arms and held him close. Harry wrapped around Jade and tried not to think about how someone else in his life was leaving. 

“I knew you might not. But, I can’t stay, this is just such a bleeding good opportunity.”

“When do you have to go?”

“I have to leave in three weeks.

Harry buried his head against Jade’s chest and tried not to let his heartbreak. 

“Then we will make the best of those three weeks.”

______________________

Harry was spending so much time at Luna and Neville’s that the couple was actually becoming worried about him. Harry was trying to get over Jade’s leaving. His friends from the restaurant and the pub wanted to take Harry out to a club later that night. It had been a month since Jade’s leaving, and Harry wasn’t exactly nursing a broken heart, but he felt the loss of potential with how he was beginning to feel for the man.

Saying his goodbyes to Neville and Luna, Harry apparated to his flat and went to shower and change for later that evening. After he pulled some jeans on that were fairly new, and rather tight Harry was wondering what shirt to wear. The knock at his door startled him as he wasn’t expecting anyone. Opening the door up he was kind of shocked and amused at the same time. 

“I hope you aren’t going to try to go out like that.” Edie teased him as Harry stood there in just his jeans. 

“No, I haven’t picked out a top yet.”

“Oh, let me help.” Edie barreled on and went to Harry’s closet. “Hmm.” She hummed as she searched through what he had. Her hand finally settled on something and pulled it out. “I haven’t seen this before.” Edie had a little smirk on her face as she held up the shirt against Harry’s chest. “Oh, yes. You need to wear this. It brings out the green in your eyes.”

Harry had bought the short-sleeved button up on a whim. It was fitted just enough to be almost too tight. Harry took it and put it on. His sides left some of his skin exposed, Harry felt a bit self-conscious in it, but by Edie’s smile, she thought it was perfect. 

“Perfect. Now come on, everyone’s waiting.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he followed Edie outside where some of his friends from the restaurant were indeed waiting. 

“Harrison, old chap. We, your esteemed friends, are all here to take you out and get you properly shit faced and buggered.” The man grabbed Harry around the shoulders and pulled him in close.

“Colin!” Harry laughed at his friend’s antics.

“Look, mate. We know you took Jade’s leaving a bit hard, but blimey, you’ve hidden away for too long and we are here to see to it that you get out and have a good time.”

Harry couldn’t deny that he had indeed holed up either in his flat or at Neville and Luna’s. Getting out with friends just might be the best thing for him right now. 

The club wasn’t like anything he had ever been to before. The lights, the pounding music, the DJ up on a stage, the writhing bodies dancing and jumping around was all new to him. It was nothing like the Tri-Wizard Tournament Ball he had attended. There was something primal and youthful about the whole thing. 

“Come on, Harrison.” Edie smiled as she pulled Harry out on the dance floor.

“I don’t know how to dance.”

Edie laughed and playfully punched his shoulder. “Neither do they.” She grabbed his hand and started to do a complicated jumping around that had Harry’s head spinning a little. Conversations were going to be difficult, but Harry was quickly learning that sitting and having a chat was not what the club was all about.

“Just go with it, Harry. Let the music tell your body what to do.” 

Harry wasn’t so sure at first, then Colin was there behind him, gripping his hips, Tazzie, Winston, and George were there as well. They all started to dance together and Harry took a deep breath and let go. He let the music fill him, and while it was all new to him, he let himself get a little lost in the press of bodies, the thump, thump of the music, the cheering of the DJ. 

Several hours later, Harry wasn’t sure how long they had been there, he flopped down in a chair at one of the tables they had commandeered at some point during the early morning.

“I have to get home at some point and get some sleep.” Harry’s jaw-cracking yawn backing up how tired he was.

“We’ll leave in a minute. Did you have fun?”

Harry blushed a little thinking about all of the strangers he had danced with. Some innocent, some not quite so innocent, but all had one goal in mind, to be part of this strange tribe of dancers blowing off steam and having a good time.

“I did, surprisingly.” Even his magic felt settled in a way it hadn’t for a while. Harry wondered if he had expelled a charm or two by accident. It was so subtle if he had he didn’t feel the pull on his magic that he usually did when casting a spell.

“Do you want to do it again?”

Harry gave it serious consideration as he looked out into the dwindling crowd. It had been fun, and different. He felt like he was letting loose like he was never allowed to do before. 

“Yeah, yeah I think I do.”

Harry was done with dating, for now, all if brought was confusion, heartache, and pain. He wasn’t giving up sex, he rather liked sex and Harry planned to have it more often, he was just dispensing with all of the crap in the middle that led to sex, at least for now. 

In other words, Harry was giving himself permission to go a little wild.